Man oh man. Got my old job back :) I start tomorrow. Not a dream job, but it's income. I'm going to have to get back in the swing of using manners and people skills to assholes. Oh well, I did it once, I can do it again.
I've been doing alot better. Yeah, it sucks being secluded in a tiny town with no cell phone, but I now have a job, RJ has a job too, so things are getting alot better. I paint every day to keep stress, anxiety and depression at bay. And as hard as it's been, I still remain smoke free for over 4 months now. Things are coming together nicely :)
::
2012 16 June :: 5.27 am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Turning Pages-Sleeping At Last
I've waited a hundred years. but I'd wait a million more for you. nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do.
if I had only felt the warmth within your touch, if I had only seen how you smile when you blush, or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, I would have known what i was living for all along. what I've been living for.
your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase.
I surrender who I've been for who you are, for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. if I had only felt how it feels to be yours, well, I would have known what I've been living for all along. what I've been living for.
though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when i saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well. with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas. like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.
Susie Home Maker <3
It's official, let the inevitable happen. I have become more domestic and wifey :) And you know what, I don't mind one bit. I honestly don't mind doing the housewife thing, I actually really like it. I'm surprised, I have actually caught myself wanting a recipe book for Christmas. Not one already filled with recipes, but one I can build as I go along. I want to cook, which is odd considering I've never had the urge to do so in the past. I'm eager to learn so that way I can be a good housewife. I don't know, it's a change from the way I was as a teenager, and I like it alot. Mood: Happy, Content, Joyful, Loved, Good in general :)
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
::
2011 11 June :: 2.40 am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: "Love you till the end" By The Pogues
What Is Love
A love all-commanding, all-withstanding
Through a year is my love;
A grief darkly hiding, starkly biding
Without let or remove;
Of strength a sharp straining, past sustaining
Wheresoever I rove,
A force still extending without ending
Before and around and above.
Of Heaven 'tis the brightest amazement,
The blackest abasement of Hell,
A struggle for breath with a spectre,
In nectar a choking to death;
'Tis a race with Heaven's lightning and thunder,
Then Champion Feats under Moyle's water,
'Tis pursuing the cuckoo, the wooing
Of Echo, the Rock's airy daughter.
Till my red lips turn ashen,
My light limbs grow leaden,
My heart loses motion,
In Death my eyes deaden,
So is my love and my Passion,
So is my ceaseless devotion
To him to whom I gave them,
To him who will not have them.
Living with you.
I love it right now. I thought moving in together was going to be scary and uncomfortable, but its not at all. It's fun, it's easy, it's happy, it's comforting knowing I'll wake up to you every morning. No more missing you for weeks at a time. No more holding a pillow wishing it was you in bed with me. No more distance. Sure, we've had arguments, but nothing major, and the tension doesn't last. You always know how to make me feel better and break my walls down. You know how to make me laugh on days where I don't even want to smile. You are the most amazing thing in my life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love you. I love sharing a bed with you even though you hog the blankets, I love going grocery shopping with you even though you're all over the place, I love our disorganized, qwerky, sometimes upsetting life together.
All that I am,
All that I ever was,
Is here in your perfect eyes,
They're all I can see.
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Found this while watching "1,000 Ways To Die"
Way To Die #247: Eye-Sick-Kill
Date: November 29, 2008
Place: Cedar Springs, MI
The Christmas season at a mall in Cedar Springs, MI, had it's usual Christmas display, and since it was Christmastime, the mall had Santa Claus stationed outside to greet visitors. But this Santa was as naughty as his female helpers were "nice", but you would expect this Santa to be naughty. The rest of the year, he was just an old hippie stoner called "Paul".
As this Santa would do things that would only happen in the privacy of Santa's house in the North Pole, Santa's helper's got tired of the special attention that Santa paid them and made it a point to talk to the mall manager, who then made it a point to give Santa a present, that of getting fired.
But as Santa was walking away after being fired, he looked up and suddenly got a point, that was at the end of an icicle that suddenly dislodged itself from the roof, and went straight into Santa's eye, killing him instanly.
That's funny, usually naughty people get coal for Christmas, but this bad Santa got something "ice" this year...
Medical Dianosis:
The icicle decided to dislodge at that moment, which dropped with enough velocity to actually go through the eye and into the brain and killing Santa, due to brain trauma.
The creation of icicles is a continious cycle: The point of the icicle is formed more quickly than the base, which releases heat every time the icicle freezes. This cycle happens over and over again until the base of the icicle can't hold any more weight and breaks off and falls. The dislodging of icicles off buildings and roofs can prove hazardous and sometimes deadly to pedestrians and drivers due to the speed that a falling icicle can achieve, and icicles have actually killed people, like our unlucky Santa, during wintertime, more times than you can imagine
It's funny cos we don't have a mall, and I never heard anything about this.
Moving Day countdown: 1 week. Better get more serious about packing. Even though I have already packed nine boxes, it still looks like I haven't done anything. Ughhhh too much stuff.
Rolled around on kitchen floors.
Tied my tongue in pretty bows with yours.
And now we pass and just like glass
I see through you, you see through me like I'm not there.
You could make my head swerve.
Used to know my every curve.
And now we meet on a street,
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
Sometimes what we think we really want we don't.
Sometimes what we think we want we really don't.
Sometimes what we think we love we don't.
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
And when we meet on a street,
Then I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you.
I think you're pretty
I think you know it
You got a boyfriend
You just forgot him that's all
For five minutes that's all
You're my best friend that's all
Divide and conquer
Train him to be greedy
Why would the person put the advantage by fair?
Will you become what other people think of you?
I hope you don't feel lonely when you're spending time with me your friend
Wish you were here with me
Wish I was there with you
I'm reaching feeling for you
I wanna be up with you again and again
We wait for each other
But we are not lovers
I picked a good time to leave
I think it made you mad
You're talking about
You're talking about what I'm saying
Now
Wish you were here with me
Wish I was there with you
If you wanna talk I think we should
But me and where don't work so good
Will you become what other people think of you?
I hope you're not too lonely when I'm spending time with my old friend
Oh oh
Yeah
Okay
Subtle indications dribble away which you don't care about
Yeah
Okay
Go
You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me
Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around
Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around
And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late to catch me now
When the sun came up,
We were sleeping in,
Sunk inside our blankets,
Sprawled across the bed,
And we were dreaming,
There are moments when,
When I know it and
The world revolves around us,
And we're keeping it,
Keep it all going,
This delicate balance,
Vulnerable all knowing,
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would, kill for this
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would, you would...
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in front of us,
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would,
Sing like you think no one's listening,
You would kill for this,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would, you would....
Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything.
coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......
this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didn't think so but i'm still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.
and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath
coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isn't that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.
Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun, don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet
I won't let you in again
The messages I tried to send
My information's just not going in
I'm burning bridges shore to shore
I break away from something more
I'm not turned off to love until it's cheap
Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun, don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof
I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
To walk away from something when it's dead
Do, do, do, your dirty words
Come out to play when you are hurt
There are certain things that should be left unsaid
Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch
And life's too short for me to stop
Oh, baby, your time is running out
I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
All you do is fill me up with doubt
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof
This time...I'll be...Bulletproof
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof
This time baby,
I'll be, bulletproof