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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2017 16 November :: 6.53 am

My least favorite way to be woken up is by phone call

are you reaching out

:: 2017 6 November :: 3.08 pm

I hope it still hurts

The hole I made in your heart the day I left

are you reaching out

:: 2017 1 November :: 2.07 pm

So so tired of existing

are you reaching out

:: 2017 31 October :: 10.35 pm

Sometimes you make me wish I could disappear

It not that I don't listen to you because I do, I just have a hard time piecing things together about people

Maybe it's just me being selfish maybe I feel like you never listen to me either

Maybe nothing really matters and everything is just a big old fucking waste of time we all end up dead anyway

are you reaching out

:: 2017 30 October :: 2.13 pm

i hate that you love them so much. the stories related to me don't inspire trust or confidence and i find myself reaching to make connections that aren't there.

where does this loyalty come from?
why are these drug addicts so important?

but there's no way to talk to you about it. and there's no way to express my feelings without sounding like a dumb jealous cunt.

but i can't see their value in your mind, i can't even see their value to society.

but they are probably right. i suck. i'm fat and ugly and stupid. a waste of time. just like they are to me.

are you reaching out | Random Journal