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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2021 22 January :: 1.19 pm

I'm starting to feel like there are only like 5 people who would call me a friend.

the rest are just people I interact with occasionally, for 5 years, we can't be friends.

I just can't fucking make friends.

are you reaching out

:: 2021 19 January :: 8.31 am
:: Music: smashmouth Lord help me

smashmouth and cake always remind me of better times. I've been looking back more and more at my experiences, and I feel myself slipping away into a lethal kind of nostalgia.

I miss the friends I used to have.
I miss giving a strong impression of a sense of self.
I miss having fun.

All I really want are more people I can laugh until I cry with.

are you reaching out

:: 2021 13 January :: 3.16 pm

what ever happened to ska?
remember the mickey avalon concert where we met?

and that birthday party. all those birthday parties.

I miss you friend, I wonder where you disappeared to, why you ghosted me, and if you're still doing alright.

I hope things are good for you. you deserve the best

are you reaching out

:: 2021 12 January :: 6.10 am

regret is a deep rabid river, constantly trying to pull you under

are you reaching out

:: 2021 2 January :: 11.50 pm

is it just me or deep at it's core metal is really fucking dorky? have you actually ever listened to the lyrics

the guitar licks may be sick, but those words knock it out if me

are you reaching out | Random Journal