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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2020 31 May :: 9.44 pm

I'm tired of everyone dying, why is life so sad?

drug addiction just decimated another bright young man.

just so some cartel can have another swimming pool or whatever else.

and now there's another hole in his heart and I hate that I can't fix it.

rip Ashton. you will be dearly missed, I know.

are you reaching out


:: 2020 18 May :: 10.28 am

can I just die now? thx

1 night time trust fall | are you reaching out


:: 2020 15 May :: 9.16 am
:: Music: ember city by mastodon

I'm really missing you today corry. to think last year this time last year I was taking you to the hospital and you were in there so long... and I never visited you.

you must have felt so scared and alone. that probably pushed you away the most. like I only half cared about you.

I just miss you. why did you have to go. why aren't you here?

are you reaching out


:: 2020 3 May :: 11.37 am

I'm not sure what it is that I'm feeling

I know I wish I could help, but I know that I can't

at least the view is beautiful

are you reaching out


:: 2020 21 April :: 9.14 pm

so sick of having a cycle. every month it's the same stupid feelings, same stupid insecurities.

just really homesick too. I'm lonely.

are you reaching out

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