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:: 2021 2 June :: 7.25 am

I feel like I am being stretched in many different directions. That my mind cannot choose what to focus on so it doesn't do anything. There are so many things that I could be doing - so many things that would make my life easier or better - that I am just blatantly procrastinating on. I am in my 30's. I am a full grown woman... and I feel like a child without hope or wonder. A child that cannot see her potential. A child that needs direction.

I take responsibility for the lack of progress I've made. I am a functioning member of society yes, but is that all I am? I feel as though I don't have a personality anymore or the one I have is milktoast bland asf garbage. I am the only thing standing in my way and yet... I continue to plant my feet, petrified to move in either forward or backward. That sums me up - a scared little girl in an adult body... It's pathetic really. Snap out of it, stupid. Nothing will happen without your action. The heroine's journey is a myth. You take the steps to find the adventure, the adventure does not come to you.

And further still my resolve is to continue to let my life pass me by without impacting it. Because if I stop myself from affecting the world around me, time stops too, right? Nothing bad can happen then.

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