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:: 2018 16 March :: 2.38 pm

If I stay with this momentum, I should be at goal weight by September's end.


:: 2018 15 March :: 11.59 am

Processing all of this is going to take me a long time.


:: 2018 11 March :: 9.26 pm

I always feel out of place. I never feel like I fit in. It doesn't matter where I am or who I'm with. I'm always wearing a mask. I can't be myself ever. One thing or another comes up that makes it clear that I was never really welcome at all.

And almost everyone I open myself up to, at some point, stops caring.

I'll never be okay.


:: 2018 11 March :: 12.49 am

Loneliness should wear off... right? ...At some point?


:: 2018 2 March :: 11.00 pm

Every time I hang out with him, I regret it. Every. Time.



:: 2018 2 March :: 8.24 am

Anime was ruined for me by the community. So was rock/emo/pop punk music.

Why do people have to be such dicks?


:: 2018 23 February :: 10.17 pm

I have fucking awesome friends.


:: 2018 18 February :: 11.21 pm

I've been visiting my Grandmother with my Mom this week. She teaches me many new things and reminds me of many things I've learned before:

Be vigilant with patience. You can never be too patient around her.

It's okay to feel what you want to feel but don't be consumed by it. She has overcome so much in her life and I hope she can be happy about that. I'm certainly proud of her.

Be compassionate and kind above all else. Let the people you love let know you love them and love spending time with them.

I am lucky and blessed to still have my Grammie. I treasure the time I've gotten to spend with her on this trip and throughout my whole life. I am very thankful to bond with my Mother as well. It has been a wonderful time, one which I hope to remember forever.

Lately from them and from some other people in my life, I have been hearing alot of "I really enjoy being with you." And "I'm so happy you came." And other similar things. Initially I always feel surprised by it due to some negative experiences I've had where people have told me otherwise... but it is beginning to sink in that I am a good friend and person and I do make other peoples' lives better by expressing my care. I am warmed by this beautiful feeling of welcomeness and love. It helps me see that this world isn't such a dark place after all. Something I need to remember, especially before such a difficult day for me.


:: 2018 19 January :: 11.27 pm

Moe! Moe! Moe!
How do you like me? How do you like me?
Moe! Moe! Moe!
Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me.


:: 2018 18 January :: 7.21 pm

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