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:: 2019 20 July :: 9.30 pm
:: Mood: No one cares how I feel

My faith in people will be my downfall. I don't know why I have so much hope for others to love me as much as I love them - friends - partners - this is why I haven't gotten close to anyone else in a while. This is why I don't let my guard down anymore. People want different things than you do - whether that means time spent together, affection, humor, closeness, goals - whatever it is, I always pick wrong; I always hope for more.

I don't know what I'm expected to do anymore. If you try so hard for so long and you're let down time and time again, how are you supposed to be expected to be calm and cool and collected? How are you supposed to assume the best any longer?

All the red flags just pass me by with my rose-colored glasses. They are all unique, beautiful people that will eventually come around. Time has shown that's not the case and people will continue to disappoint me and I will continue to love them just as I always have.

I'm so fucking weak.

Just drop a wink

:: 2019 30 May :: 9.40 pm

Just drop a wink

:: 2019 13 May :: 10.29 pm

Time is a rubber band.

Just drop a wink

:: 2017 20 December :: 10.01 pm

I am the mountain and you are the rain and clouds over me that will pass. I will remain strong.

Just drop a wink

:: 2017 11 November :: 11.57 am
:: Mood: defeated

Same as it ever was.

2 Puhphsheewwws | Just drop a wink

:: 2016 17 March :: 8.18 am
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

Just drop a wink

:: 2015 11 December :: 6.14 pm

I'm finding myself looking at pictures of people more and more. People in my life, people I used to know...
And they feel like ghosts. They don't feel real.

Maybe they were never really there at all.

Just drop a wink

:: 2015 25 November :: 10.42 pm

Today is a beautiful day.
I miss Banana.
I'm happy.

Just drop a wink

:: 2015 10 September :: 9.50 pm

In other news: It's only slander if it's not true.

Just drop a wink

:: 2015 11 June :: 4.10 pm

Maybe I should write a break up poem with Spokane...

3 Puhphsheewwws | Just drop a wink | Random Journal