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:: 2010 17 August :: 10.11 am

the hardest part to swallow is I chose it, it didn't choose me.

hit me!

:: 2007 19 October :: 11.05 am

So, this weekend should be pretty good. Leaving for central at 2, then me, Katie, and Brian are going to Brian's parents house for a weekend long slumber party! Oh and of course, plenty of partying at MSU! Kara and Sam are coming out Saturday. Should be oodles of fun!

Aaron is out in Cali right now with his sis, then he's going to Alabama, and hopefully he's coming home. I miss him!

In other news, my mom had her monthly check up at Henry Ford Hospital yesterday. For those of who are still in the dark, my mom finally got her liver transplant, actually on my birthday of this year. The appointment brought good news, they're starting to back down the steroids. Everything seems to be looking a little bit on the bright side! Have a fun weekend kiddies!

hit me!

:: 2007 15 October :: 11.48 pm
:: Mood: exhausted

so I was stumbling like a fool across the internet, bored with facebook and myspace, and all of a sudden, out of no where, it hits me smack in the forehead: WOOHU!

So I feebly remembered my password, logged on, and started to read. So many memories, so many lost friends, so much evidence as to how immature I was...:/ Really. Although, in high school I apparently had a larger vocabulary and was a tad more witty in how I structured my sentences. Meh.

The times may have changed, the people are different, and the situations altered, but undoubtedly, there is still issues with life. And undoubtedly, they will be posted here from now on. I heard it was good for the soul to release the tension through paper, or the keyboard. I need to be eased, starting tomorrow. The wine is kicking in and I have class at 8.

Until tomorrow,

3 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 28 September :: 11.17 am
:: Mood: excited

Road trip after class today to go see the ONLY Kevin worth seeing....I'm totally stoked. :P

4 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 11 September :: 2.43 am
:: Mood: nauseated

God, please...don't let it be.

2 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 28 August :: 10.07 pm

If only you would just sing it to me...
I have to block out thoughts of you
so I donít lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach
leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape
to remind me that Iím alone
Playing movies in my head that
make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride,
a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you.
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Iím sober now for 3 whole months itís one
accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
is the one thing I wonít touch again

In a sick way I want to thank you
for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinions
on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
when it was way too hard to take
So Iíll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnít do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whatís good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling ďmake it go away!Ē
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered ďHow can you do this to me?Ē

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnít do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whatís good for you

2 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 27 August :: 6.52 pm
:: Mood: Empty shock

How could someone be that cruel? I thought shit like this only happened in the movies. I honestly didn't think I would ever meet someone so heartless and fake in my life. And to think that I was with the unbelievable for a year and a half, and only now just find out the true oneself. And to know that I was the one who was made to feel crazy because of the 1,000's of times I called it out I was miraculously right because I knew this foul being inside and out. Oh, the 1,000's of faflse reassurances I was given. But the keyword is false. I was right all along. I was cohersed into not believing in myself, and I am ashamed that I was. How could I let someone tell me who I am and who I will be? I don't think I've ever felt so foolish in my life.

He is
1. prepare or make (something suspecious, deceptive, or fraudulent): to fake a report showing nonexistent profits.
2. to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive
3. to pretend; simulate: to fake illness.
4. to accomplish by trial and error or by improvising: I don't know the job, but I can fake it.
5. to trick or deceive (an opponent) by making a fake (often fol. by out)
9. anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit: This diamond necklace is a fake.
10. a person who fakes; faker: The doctor with the reputed cure for cancer proved to be a fake.
11. a spurious report or story.
13. designed to deceive or cheat; not real; counterfeit.
Synonyms: affected, artificial, assumed, bogus, concocted, counterfeit, fabricated, false, fictitious, forged, fraudulent, invented, make-believe, mock, phony, pretended, pseudo*, reproduction, sham*, simulated, spurious
noun: actor, bastard*, bluffer, bum, bunk, bunko, charlatan, cheat*, counterfeit, deception, deke, fabrication, faker, flimflam, forgery, four-flusher*, fraud, gold brick, gyp, hoax, imitation*, imposition, imposture, junque, make-believe, mountebank, phony, pretender, pretense, pseudo*, put on, reproduction, scam, sell, sham*, sleight, spoof, swindle, trick

verb (used with object)
1. to defraud*; swindle: He cheated her out of her inheritance.
2. to deceive*; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.
3. to elude*; deprive of something expected: He cheated the law by suicide.
Ėverb (used without object)
4. to practice fraud or deceit: He cheats without regrets.
5. to violate rules or regulations: He cheats at cards.
7. Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife.
8. a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds: He is a cheat and a liar.
11. an impostor: The man who passed as an earl was a cheat.

Synonyms- con man, conniver, cozener, crook, deceiver, decoy, defrauder, dodger, double-crosser*, double-dealer*, enticer, fake, hypocrite***, impostor, jockey, knave, masquerader, pretender, quack, rascal, rogue, scammer*, shark, sharper, shyster, swindler, trickster

Having the nature of or resulting from malice; malicious gossip.
1. full of, characterized by, or showing malice; malevolent; spiteful: malicious gossip.
2. Law. vicious, wanton, or mischievous in motivation or purpose.

Synonyms: awful, bad-natured, baleful, beastly, bitchy, bitter, cussed, deleterious, despiteful, detrimental, envious, evil, evil-minded*, green*, green-eyed*, gross*, ill-disposed, injurious, jealous, low, malevolent, malign, malignant, mean, mischievous, nasty, noxious, ornery, pernicious, pesky, petty, poison-pen, poisonous, rancorous, resentful, spiteful, uncool*, vengeful, venomous, vicious, virulent, wicked

5 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 21 June :: 2.59 pm
:: Mood: Excited
:: Music: Panic! At the Disco

Huge Kegger This Saturday!!
Anyone and Everyone Can Come! Bring as many people as you want!

Who-Amy's 19th and Kendra's 17th B-day

What-Kegger Party!!

When-Saturday, June 24th

Time:-All day and all night!

Where- 615 South Webster, Greenville

Directions- Take 14 Mile/M-57 east all the way into Greenville, passing Meijers and DQ untill you get to Main St/Lafayette/M-91. Take a right. Third street down on the left is Union, take a left. Go through a yield sign to the last house on the corner of Union and Webster and you're there! Anyone and everyone can come!

~.~The pool is open, so feel free to bring the swimwear!~.~

4 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 12 May :: 1.49 pm

Wow...So much has happened since I last updated.

First, I need to change this damn layout for my woohu for obvious reasons. Oh, Brianna??? Lol

I've graduated, got an awesome job that I just cannot say enough about. I love my job, the people i work with, and the money I make!!! It's great.

I'm currently seeing someone by the name of Aaron. I'm not giving out last names though! You'll just have to guess. He's 24, has his own place, own truck, good job, and most importantly, he treats me with respect. Things have finally taken a turn for the better!

Oh and I almost forgot....

**Huge B-day Party for me and my sis!!!**
I know it's a long ways away, but June 24th, since mine and my sister's b-day's are two days apart, dad's throwing us a huge triple kegger!! Pool will be open, we'll be barbequeing, free alcohol, can't get much better than that! Any body and everybody can come, bring whoever we don't give a shit!

4 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 10 March :: 11.47 am

Yep...the weekend.

Brianna, we're going out tonight and having a ladies night!


luv me!

6 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 9 February :: 11.31 am

Our Conversation at the Jail-Support for Yesterday's Entry
NOTE: Both parties have permagrin the whole time.

Me: " So what are you doing on Valentines Day? "

Him: " Umm...I'm supposed to go to a movie with Nikki...why?"

Me: " I was just wondering...I didn't have any plans."

Him: " Well, I don't really want to go with her. How about we go to a movie instead?"

Me: "Sounds great. I'd love to."

Him: "I'd rather be with you anyways! You're the only one I want...that (she) was such a mistake."
*shakes head and looks down in shame


Him: "I missed you."

Me: " I missed you, too. How much did ya miss me?"

Him: "More that anything in the whole world."

Me: "Hehe...I love you honey."

Him: "I love you too beb."

Me: "How much?"

Him: " More than anything in the entire world."

Me: " Awww!"

Yeah. Thats what I thought. :)

4 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2006 8 February :: 10.44 am

Touche to things that make ya go "hmm"
It's really makes me ponder...

How someone could be such a low-life to weasel their way inbetween our relationship after they hint the slightest disturbance. You were supposed to be my friend.

And to think all the time on New Year's you were just pretending to be my friend. I knew I should have stayed suspicious of your phone call. You know the first major clue? The fact that you had sex with some random guy for and hour and a half after only just meeting him 45 minutes before. Touche to things that make ya go hmm.

It's ok. Because I know what you are to him. He's told me about everything. And even though we may be going through a rough spot in our relationship, I know who he loves. I know who he has feelings for.

12 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2005 21 December :: 12.09 pm

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

1 smacked me | hit me!

:: 2005 19 December :: 11.04 pm

Too Bored
You are

Haha! Wow...

Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.
Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person!

Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy

Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing

Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense

What you bring to relationships: Honesty

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Kane Nani

Your 2005 Song Is

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

"Love forever love is free.
Let's turn forever you and me."

In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

Too true!

hit me!

:: 2005 18 December :: 4.08 pm

So True
It's crazy, because both of these birthday blogs are so true. Here's Kevin's:

Your Birthdate: June 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested.
You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them.
Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others.
You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself.

Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence

Your weakness: Suspicion of others

Your power color: Eggplant

Your power symbol: Spade

Your power month: October

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