you think about yourself too much and you ruin who you love


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if you'd tell me to go to hell at least you'd sound sincere

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:: 2017 1 December :: 11.47 pm
:: Mood: hopeless, basically
:: Music: Only lovers left alive soundtrack

Everything all at once all the time forevermore
Major bad changes coming to my job I'm about to take a 40% pay cut. We are all terrified. IDK what to do. I have no local friends to see or hang out with. I went to Florida to see HIM play and I stayed with Taylor and Meagan for a few days. Me and Meagan got wine slushies in downtown Disney and me and Taylor got sushi and taco bus.

I turned 32 on November 8th, so I've now had this journal for half my life. Minus a house and some ex lovers not much has changed in 16 years.

I drove by decorations in my neighborhood and this house just went all out and I remembered how fun that was to see as a kid. Do kids still think that's fun? I don't know. I really don't think there's much joy left in the world. We play Christmas songs at work while they're systematically fucking us.

My doggy is a year and a month now. I saw a sign the other day that said who rescued who? I feel like that's pretty appropriate here. People say we look the same sad eyes and all. I hate leaving him home when I'm working.

Sometimes I think would it really be so bad if America lost a war? I could use a new gkvernment. It's so corrupt. We can't even pretend anymore. It's so bad. The world is so bad. Why isn't everyone saying something. It's seriously so bad.

My upstairs wood floors go this week and my cork floors in the basement.

I have no energy lately. I haven't worked out or exercised in months.

Does any of this shit even matter what the fuck are we doing anyway

I feel overdue for some sort of awakening


:: 2017 20 October :: 12.15 pm

my life is full of melody, but rarely ever harmony
cem came and went
lum moved back to florida
my puppy turned 1 year old yesterday
my turntable showed up finally



:: 2017 4 August :: 12.09 am

You needed it, he tasted you inside out. Your joy is my low.

Cem is coming to Omaha August 19 to 24!!!


:: 2017 24 July :: 2.32 am

deeply saddened


:: 2017 23 July :: 12.38 am

puppy is 9 months old now as of the 19th of july.

i can't stop thinking about chester bennington's death, i haven't listened to that band since high school either, maybe college, that remix album. this is the first celebrity where i've felt something when they've passed.

i cut off 8 or so inches of hair

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