Does anyone remember the wrap-up rap? Maybe I was one of the only people in the world to own a cassette of such a pathetic shot at educating those "stupid americans" but i just remember it being really retarded. It had this parts that were like "the wrap-up rap, the wrap -up rap" in a robot-like voice. Then it would proceed with periods of monotonous times tables. Thats right folks, all you have to do is throw in a few bars of "hip" robot talk interrupting those times tables, and it will make learning fun!

Isn't it a wonderful feeling to get things done? I'm waiting to hear from a potential employer (furniture sales, yay!) but in the mean time, i'm getting stuff done. The wedding is coming together nicely (I apologize for the reference, I'm sure it gets old, but its running my life right now) and I am negotiating for a paid internship at the Mac store in town. Granted, I'll get an internship there, no matter what, my cousin owns the place. But I may just be able to get him to pay me and then get the university to reinburse him for my pay. SWEET! Money, work, and flexible hours. I figured I had to do something, because as of June 11th, I will not know what to do with myself.

According to my fiance, I am no longer a giraffe or a large mouth bass, as he previously claimed. No, in fact, if I were an animal I would be a Great Dane Puppy. Apparantly, I am not self aware (thus explaining my clumsiness) like puppies with really big heads and paws and all I want to do is cuddle at inconveniant times. I liked this designation better, and I find more truth to it. He still claims that i look like a giraffe though.

I have come to the conclusion that Mike Myers sucks. He really isn't funny, at all. I saw Wayne's World, and wasn't impressed. I thought Austin Powers was a string of cheap jokes, but the nail in the coffin was So I Married An Axe Murderer. I was forced into it, and now I want my 90 or so minutes back of my life. Beatniks? Please.........

If you read this post, leave a comment. I am just wondering how many people are out there *looks up at the stars*

End of Semester
Yes, its been long time no see Mallory. Between finishing up school and planning my wedding, I keep busy. But now its 4:30 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I can't......I just am thinking too much. For the girls out there who grew up NOT planning every detail of their wedding.......beware. Once you must plan a wedding, it probably will take over you life. I'm worried about my hair,my complexion, whitening my teeth, finding a replacement for my AWOL bridesmaid, and of course invitations. I don't want to think about it.

So today, I had my last final, moved out of the dorms, and went home for a weekend trip (i'm moving in with my cousin till the wedding). Its a six hour drive. I drop my fiance off at his dad's house and on the 10 min ride home I was very careful not to go too fast. Unfortunately a cop was waiting for me right where the speed drops 15 miles and clocked going......15 miles over the speed limit. Mind you its 2 in the morning and we are the only two there. The asshole pulls me over and acts like hes gonna give me a ticket, and probably would have if I hadn't just gotten a ticket the last time I went home the month before. Granted, that time was a much bigger deal, although even THEN I was TRYING to be good. Cops set traps, remember that. It pissed me off and all I can think about is him shining his flashlight directly in my eyes.

I am wholly unemployed, and now I don't have school, so I feel like a bum. I have sent out about 15 aps and resumes in the last month, and I will send out more when I get back to BG. But I guess I'll have plenty of time to make crafts. Anyone have a craft project they would pay me to take on? Just thought I would ask.

On the brighter side of things, check out this snippet of conversation during the road trip today.

Mo: *sniff* Do you smell Cornpops?
Mal: *pause* No, actually I smell skunk.
Mo: *pause* Oh, yeah.

Silence.......

Mal:You should join Kellogg's marketing team.
Mo: Yeah, actually, THAT should be the commercial.

LMAO.

Whats not funny is my sister. She wants to move back into my parents house. THANK GOD I LIVE ON MY OWN.

Quick background on my sister: She's absolutely fucking crazy.

You know that song "She's Got Issues" by Offspring? I dedicated that song to her.....and I told her so to her face.

For some reason the other night when I was half asleep I had a thought. My thought was "Do flowers get jealous of each other for their colors?" At the time I thought it was absolutely genius and I saved it in my memory bank for a "kick ass sensory poem." Now all I can think is....thats retarded.

Thats what happens when I'm half asleep. Certain stages of sleep have the same effect on me as alcohol would have, if I drank. One day I was napping and a telemarketer called. I answered the phone and answered all her questions. I ended up getting a shitload of stuff for a ridiculous offer (i didn't even remember she had called) and she called me for weeks trying to get me to sign up. Finally I figured out I had to be 18 and I was only 17, so I got off the hook. I'm glad I only have a cell phone now.