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| cait0880 (profile) wrote, on 5-28-2003 at 9:47pm | |
| Current mood: lost hope. Subject: i know people are geting sick of reading my shit |
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| Alright so after more thinking about my sad pathetic life. i realize that im total crazy for thinking that ill have kris back. think about it. he gets back. im soo happy. he feels bad thinks oh well she waited for me for a year so maybe i have to pretend to still love her. that works for a couple weeks maybe a month or 2 tilll he finds someone better for him good for him better then me in every single way. i let him go and im stuck alone because everyone else i could have had has forgotten about me and most of my friends are almost done with school. so im alone. and i dont want to be so negtive about this but i cant even think about it working out. it seams to far feched. i mean a year is so llong. i just want to talk to this kid so he can tell he whats is up does he love me or hate me. i remeber before he left he told me not to worry that he would still care about me. that he wouldlnt cheat. he said that he knows even if he came back and didnt like me he would fall back in love with me. it sounds like bullshit to me. i just hate it cuz kris was my 1st real boyfriend really the 1st guy who i really could just fuck around and joke with who didnt care about anything like me and had fun over anything else. who was just like me. and i dont think i can have that with alot of oother people i really dont care for my self anymore these days and i need to stop writing about this shit cuz thats what it is shit... |
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| Anonymous | 05-28-03 9:56pm How touching. |
| Anonymous | 05-28-03 11:13pm first of all, congradulations on staying clean Cait, I really am proud of you, if it means anything. That feeling your talking about, I understand, and I'm sorry your feeling like that a lot : ( but you know what, at least you connect that feeling with drugs when you hear about them, so your not going to get lost in fantasies and glorifications of coke or any other drug. You know how it's going to make you feel. Anyway, I just really wanted to say that what you write isn't shit, it's good to get it out, it's your emotions & all that. Oh and with Kris, I think your view on it is senseable... you never know how it will be when he gets back.
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| cait0880 | Re:, 05-29-03 8:45am Thanks Jillian it sounds better coming from someone who went through the same kinda thing. It makes me feel alot better thanks. |