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| dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, on 6-3-2003 at 7:11pm | |
| Current mood: flirty Music: disease- matchbox 20 Subject: update.... |
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| hi again, its been quite a while and i have quite a lot to say since the last time i wrote... okay so the last time i wrote, i was talkin about my luv life and how its all messed up and how i wanted to find the love of my teenage life and stuff like that. so a week or so after i wrote that, i met this guy at a bat mitzvah who was my soulmate. we had so much in common, he was sweet, caring, funny, loved me for who i was, he knew all this amazing stuff about relationships that it takes most guys until their 20's to figure out, and he was gorgeous. 6'1 brown hair, brown eyes, and he was buff lol. so i saw him a bunch of times after the bat mitzvah but the problem was that he lived so far away, like 45 mins or so without traffic..eek! so i had to keep on making my parents drive me out there and it would cause all kinds of fights and blow ups in my house between me and my mom, me and my dad and my mom and my dad. it was worth it at the time. he was the most amazing guy i had ever been with and spending time with him was just incredible. the way i felt was absolutely indescribable. so anyway as i was saying, i kept on goin out there, it was like 6 weekends that i made them drive me out there. so one day im online and i get an im from one of his friends that i know and he says: look, u didnt hear this from me, but hes thinkin of dumping u bc the distance is screwin up his head. this was like a foreign language to me bc it was just so damn random. he hadnt been acting weird around me or talking weird or saying stuff that wasnt him, but he was just totally normal. so about 5 mins later, he signs on and he says: look, ive been doin a lot of thinkin about us and its not working, we live to far away and it really starting to kill me. and as he says this im sitting here totally heart broken and feeling like the world just stopped, so the conversation continues and he goes on to say how its too hard when he doesnt get to see me enough, so i was like wtf??!?! ur not the one doin the traveling here, i get my family into fights to the point where we're all about to scratch the eyeballs out of eachothers heads, while u sit on ur ass and wait for me to come to u, and now ur complaining about how we dont c eachother enough? if u wanna c me more get off ur lazy butt and come up to scarsdale!! grrr!! lol so as the conversation went on it ended up on a nicer note of me saying to him that i loved him and he told me that he would always love me....i wanted to die when he said that. so anyway, it was a bit easier to get over that than i thought it would be, i guess bc i only felt that i had a bf when i was with him. i was doing great with the break up, until like a week into my being single when it just hit me like a ton of bricks: WHO THE HELL R U TRYING TO KID DANIELLE? UR STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND U KNOW IT SO FACE THE FACTS AND DONT PRETEND...NO ONE LIKES A PRETENDER. eventually i got over that as well, and now im all good with the situation, although i will always have a little love for him tucked somewhere inside of me, because he was exactly who i was looking for...im just happy that i got to experience it, and thats all i wanted, to be in such lust with someone that nothing bothers me and to have that feeling again that someone loved me as much as i loved them. so now that thats all over with, im back in edgemont with the stupid edgemont guys and im flyin solo once again. today i realized that i think my old bf might like me again. we just got our yearbooks yesterday and so everyone was signing them today. my x-bf (aaron) is moving away to california in a few weeks, so in my friend sarahs yr book, he wrote: dont let danielle go out with taylor again or n e other guy, look out for her while im gone....now im just starting to wonder, could that mean that he likes me again? ill keep ya posted on that. monday is the last day of school, and then we have finals. ive been doing my studyin like a good little girl and what a bitch it is! lol speakin of that im gunna go study some social studies now, ill write later...... ur favorite rockstar**Danielle |
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Lizzy | i love my danielley!!, 06-03-03 9:19pm hey babe! anyway hang in there.....i'm so glad that u look at taylor as positive experience and aren't too sad about it. You are one of the *most wonderful* people i know and i love u! Although being single might be a bit depressing, it has its advantages...i mean last time taylor walked into ur life...who knows who it could be next! hehe love u sweetie |