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| musicalbabe (profile) wrote, on 6-7-2003 at 9:48am | |
| Current mood: crushed Music: Hair-Colored Spade Subject: i am gonna be soooo pissed... |
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| and i might as well just start getting pissed now cuz i'm pretty sure i shud be. damnit, life just sucks ass sometimes. *sigh* okay now i'm listening to 'let it be' and its helping my mood. although it's depressing too. ha. i just realized i've pretty much been through junior high, and i've still never had a boyfriend or even been asked out. i mean, 'almost' asked out doesn't count. and like non-dates don't count. like that whole playing on the swings in the park incident doesn't count. and like, as i look back on the year, i haven't really improved at all or learned anything much. i still can't sing worth shit, which seems to keep haunting me as it is the number one thing i wanna be good at, and like the rest of the world can sing, so wtf is wrong with me? so like my two biggest things have not improved: boys and music. well i can't say not improved AT ALL...i mean, i've had my moments...like flirting with andrew at the dinner and during the musical, or almost being asked out on the spot in band, or falling in love and letting my heart be crushed in the course of one summer, but like, i still haven't had a relationship. oh well. i shouldn't be complaining, i'm with the majority of my class, i guess. but the singing, goddamnit...none of you have any idea how much it kills me that i can't sing as well as i want to. and i try soo fucking hard. i even feel like i would have a fighting chance if God hadn't given me a fucked up voice with a fucked up break that just ISN'T NORMAL. couldn't He have blessed me with just a tiny bit of talent? oh no, i guess He figured that blonde hair and intelligence were enough gifts for one kid. the talent it takes for a dream to come true is just too much, i guess. i mean, i got into this really great camp at PYT, its called SETT: Summer Educational Theatre Training. We hafta bring a binder and music that we wanna sing and a tape and a tape recorder...it's gonna be a great experience...haha 'e-x-p-e-r-i-E-n-c-e...we're gonna have private help learning an auditition song and stuff...which would be great, i mean, i'll learn SO many new things, and it's an advanced camp anyway, audition only, so we're all gonna be pretty talented...it's just the singing part. definately my weakest in the triple threat...if the 12-13 year olds can sing better than me, i'm just gonna freak. public voice lessons aren't great when everyone's listening to u like...man...she can't sing for shit. hmmm well i feel a bit better. the bad thing that i was ranting about earlier has now turned into a good thing: Nicole, WE CAN GO TO THOMAS' GRADUATION PARTY!!!! the conflict doesn't exist anymore because the website screwed up and there isn't a concert today...(which means no hug from Yahya!! *sob*) but you get to see Thomas and i get to see Andrew!! :0D idk, i need to flirt with a guy that doesn't go to my school after last night...ooo it might not be as good though, he's really good friends with Thomas, so idk. but he'll still be there... o and another good thing: if emily borromeo didn't try out for C.O.E., that means christina b. is gonna be eve and i don't hafta worry about the japheth/yonah duo...THANK GOD!! i don't need that to piss me off right now...omg i can find out in like 2 hours!! :-D children of eden rocks!! oooo man in sean kranz gets Father....AHHH!! :0D okay i'll rant more later... Louise and Nicole: i'm gonna go shopping so i can't do the three-way phone rant until later this afternoon, k? but I NEED TO HAVE THAT RANT SO CALL ME LATER, K? we agreed on sunday, tho, right? well whatever. |
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iwish2bemilkywhite | 06-07-03 5:49pm believe me, my voice is more fucked up than yours. i'm almost sure that my vibrato is fake, but my voice teacher, who knows EVERYTHING about the female voice and can spot a fake vibrato a mile away, is almost sure that it isn't. and my brake moves around. literally. one day it's an f, the next it's a g. then it goes back to like, an e. ya. fucked. and i can't sing loud unless i'm in my chest, so when i go to auditions i'm screwed because they always say "SING LOUDER" and i FUCKING CAN'T!! so anyway, don't feel bad about it, we all have fucked up voice weaknesses. hey, you're better than like, 95% of the chorus, right? |