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kate (profile) wrote,
on 7-20-2003 at 10:52am
It's July 20, already. Sometimes it feels fast and other times not. I don't know. Confused, I suppose. Tony's party was... entertaining. Don't know if I could go as far as to say fun. I was quiet. Or so Justin says. Quiet, staring into space, something on my mind. Sometimes I'd be sitting there thinking about what exactly was on my mind. I'm not sure. I feel like I lost something. Don't assume now, I'm not talking about Joe because I know a few who would think I meant that. No... something of myself. I haven't figured out what it was, but something is definetly gone. I've thought I might have entered a state of apathy, but then when I get all emotional, I know that's not it. Why am I emotional? No, why am I so emotional? I never used to be like this. I'm going to get back to my old self, I've been working on it. I'm really not sure what hit me so hard as to knock me into this vulnerable, emotional, unintentionally blind... person. I hate this person and they're going away. I've changed who I am before and I can do it again. Don't tell me not to change myself, because this isn't who I'm supposed to be, I'm going to become the person I want. so...
i kept getting booted off the bench. that damn bench. *shakes fist* Eric looked awfully upset or perhaps lonely, for having a girl sitting on his lap almost the whole time. Wonder what's up.. he's not always willing to open up. I might call him today and see if he's okay and if he might want to talk.
Kamal just woke up. :P bum.. I've been up for about 2 hours. Oh well, I went to bed earlier. Working got me into this horrible routine of going to bed early and getting up early. I like getting up early, but I actually hate going to bed early. I like to stay up late into the night. I guess last night didn't really matter though since there wouldn't be many people to talk to, considering most were at Tony's.
Bah, guess we're going to church soon, fun fun. so. Kamal's snap just came undone. "I hate my life" -Kamal
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rayray

07-20-03 12:31pm

Tell Eric I said hello! And yes, he should have been happy for having a girl on his lap like the whole time. Could it have anything to do with Kelly for why he was upset? Well I must be on my way.. Latas!~*

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