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sportsgirl (profile) wrote,
on 7-20-2003 at 6:18pm
Current mood: mellow
Alright i have been pretty mellow all day today. It is kind of odd. I mean normally i am up beat and all. But today is just like bla. I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately most of it, is about my future. It is so stressful. I mean just the thoughts that i have been having scares me. What if i end up left behind. I mean i have no clue what i want to be or do with my life. I know i want to go to college, but i dont think i am smart enof to get in. But even if i am i dont think i could go through with it and and i will ended up drowning because everything will be way over my head. And then even if i can get to college and stuff there is no way i can pay for it. My parents are not given me a dime. I have to make my way through life. And it is so scary to not know what is going to happen. Future, a very stressful thing to think about. But somthing that comes eventually. I wish i was little again, where i had no worrys at all except for the veggies i would have to eat with dinner. I really want to go back to my care free life. But i know that cant happen.

Last year in school i kind of slacked off so to say, and i cant do that again. Sure it was fun, but i cant screw up my future by having fun now. I cant let that happen to me. Or at least i am going to try the best i can not to let that happen.
*sighs* everything is so complicated why does it have to be like this?
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Angel_Bob

07-21-03 1:04am

Because it's life...and all that hard work will pay off eventually...

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Angel_Bob

07-21-03 1:42am

I love you, Jess.

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coolyoda2

07-21-03 12:37pm

yeah i no whatr your talking about. at one time i wanted to be a pro football player then i wanted to be a wrestler and now i want to be a pro baseball player. i also dont know whats going to happen in the future. you might have thought that you are alone but your not. o yeah and dont forget to screw a goat and then get drunk so you forget5 about it. peace

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starstruck

07-21-03 12:48pm

Boy do I know what you're talkin bout! I used to have all these plans for the future, it was so easy..And then everything got just as you call it: Complicated. I still have worries that I'm not gonna make it to that point in my life, but I'm trying. And university..God how am I gonna pass that if I can't stay awake through high school?! There's always my college option, but that'll be nearly as bad. We'll freak out and worry together k hun? LoL I love you!!!

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smerfgrease

07-21-03 5:06pm

HEY JESS READ THIS IT MIGHT HELP.
all of the time i think about how could this help me in the future. even if its as simply as buying a pop.i always think about the future and try to predict whats going to happen. it really helps me alot. also my religion and reading the bible helps alot to. its got some good stuff in it. im not saying you have to read the bible but its a suggestion. i have already thought about this stuff and ive found ways to deal with it so if you need help ask me and ill see what i can do to help you. also (im not saying you are) but being pessimistic doesnt help try to be optimistic about things.

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Anonymous

07-28-03 2:22pm

hey jess i really do wish you were back to your old self! i do miss the old jess, i just can't get used to the new one!

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