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| brad (profile) wrote, on 7-24-2003 at 12:04am | |
| Subject: leave me to die |
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| why do i ever bother caring for someone? everytime i truely care about someone they either ruin it or someone else does. tasha is my first example, everything was perfect, then it was ruined. now everytime i try to get close to someone it blows up in my fucking face. me and justin are supposed to go to wisconsin for the warped tour. he might not get to do this..is it fate or was i just born fucked in every way? he doesnt know how much going to this means to me. its not only about the music...its about a girl. a girl at the rockshow, how ironic. i havent been close to anyone in almost 7 fucking months...i cant take it anymore. i cant be alone, ive been so lonely. i cant wait for tasha because it will never happen. we both know this. last night i had a dream about tasha and it was great. but when reality hits again it depresses me. why cant i just have someone that i can be with...jessi was right, she was the only person that will ever love me like she did. and of course stupid me, i fucked everything up. i always fuck everything up, i was a born failure. i dont know why these things happen to me, ill never understand. all i know is i think i will be better off alone...alone as in alone from everyone. i could just not give a shit about anyone and care for myself and thats it. i wouldnt need friends, all i would need is myself. i would be the only one who could make me happy. im not saying this will happen..but if my life remains as shitty as it is....then i dont know what will happen to me. im not doing this shit for attention, i never have. im just a peice of shit with a lot of problems. and i have no one to help me through it. i havent really talked to anyone about all this because no one understands. i probly dont even deserve what i have, i dont deserve any kind of a life. i should just lock myself in my room and ignore everything. i dont know how many of you actually give a shit about all this, i dont really know who all cares about me..im just going to go now because im alone and i will remain alone. goodbye. Brad |
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durin | 07-24-03 1:01am life hates me too...just hate life back. |
jim9nin | 07-24-03 6:36am Just remember: we're all alone in the end. |
shorty | 07-24-03 1:41pm alright... my comment is gonna be different from the other ones..... i dont know you at all, and i know its likewise... and i dont feel sorry for you because i know thats not what you're asking for. Sometimes all you need is just someone to listen to what you have to say. It sounds like alot of things are hitting rock bottom for you and im sorry to hear that because i hate when people are down. Try to stay positive and remember that everything happens for a reason. You seem like a really strong person and if it wasnt for all the shit life puts you through maybe you would be that much weaker. Everything will lead up to one point in your life and maybe at that point things will make sence. Im only commenting because life is seemingly choosing to hate me too.... its how you get through it that makes the difference. And yeah... theres that one lame quote that says things get worse before they get better... so hold your head up and watch for them to get better.. because they WILL get better. It just takes time.
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brad | Re:, 07-24-03 1:52pm well erika, at least you realize im not asking for people to feel sorry for me, what i really need is a friend that will talk to me and hang out with me and act like a true friend...at this point in time i really dont have one. sure, i have friends but they dont ever see me. you can almost call it an online thing now. im sorry life's a bitch to you too. i just hate how no one understands me, no one has ever been able to help me by just talking to me. i need to be around someone, i need someone to talk to about my problems..and not online either. talking online will never help, it doesnt mean a thing to me when someone tries to help talking to me online. im just destined to be alone. ill get over it, im used to having no one. i think once school starts again it'll be easier to find someone and plus ill get to actually talk to some of my friends. but until then ill be here alone. thank you for trying to help erika. goodbye.
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| Anonymous | 07-24-03 5:03pm why do you think that i didnt love you when we were together?
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brad | Re:, 07-24-03 5:06pm tasha, i didnt say that you didnt love me, im sorry if it seemed that way. what i meant was that i loved you and we were seperated so therefore i was left alone once again. so what it is, its just showing how i cant be with anyone. i miss you tasha, i hope to talk to you sometimes. see ya hun.
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brad | Re: Re:, 07-24-03 5:18pm Oh and one more thing. I really appretiate you blocking me.
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Anonymous | Re: Re: Re:, 07-25-03 4:54pm umm i didnt block you im just never on anymore
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brad | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 07-25-03 4:57pm Doesnt really matter because we never talk anyways. |