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kate (profile) wrote,
on 7-31-2003 at 10:41pm
Current mood: melancholy
Subject: mother complaints
K8 says:
are you there Gary?
Gary says:
Kate... did you need somethin?
K8 says:
depends. are you busy?
Gary says:
well.. i was gonna head up to bed, but i have a few minutes if you'd like them
K8 says:
no.. go to bed
Gary says:
are you sure? i'll probably just go play a video game upstairs
K8 says:
yeah... there's nothing you could say that would make a difference anyway. Goodnight.
Gary says:
well well.. that statement is just an invitation for me to ask whats on your mind
K8 says:
just... get really unhappy... when I think about my how my life can't ever be the way I want to be. I can never actually live out my childhood...
K8 says:
she hates my friends... she critisizes everything I like... she hates my music...
Gary says:
your mother?
K8 says:
she thinks I'm weird.. I need God... I don't know anything.. I'm only 14, I don't know anything... I'm not mature... I've got the mind of an 8 year old...
K8 says:
yes...
Gary says:
do you know any little kids? like... 3-5 years old?
K8 says:
no
K8 says:
yes
K8 says:
kind of
Gary says:
do some of the things they do just baffle you? like leave you so confused you have no idea whats going on in their head?
K8 says:
i don't know...probably... I'm rarely around children.. they annoy me
Gary says:
well.. the feeling you have with children is similar to the feeling your mother has about you
Gary says:
she has no comprehension of the music you like, no ability to believe that you can like the stuff you do and still believe in God and Jesus as your savior
Gary says:
she cant relate to any of it.. and that scares her
Gary says:
that's why she critisizes it.. she doesn't understand it... she cant
K8 says:
well it's taking away my life...
Gary says:
she will try and restrict you.. and its going to get worse before it gets better
K8 says:
yeah... I turn 18, it gets better.
K8 says:
and my childhood is already gone
Gary says:
no.. it will get better slightly before then.
Gary says:
yes, your childhood is gone...
Gary says:
you're 14, your not a child anymore
K8 says:
tell her that. she talks to me like I can't do anything for myself.. like I neeed her. To live.
Gary says:
that's how she wants it...
Gary says:
that's how she will always want it.
Gary says:
it gives her a sense of being needed...
Gary says:
on top of her not understanding a thing about you... she also feels like you're slipping away, like you're going down this path of unholiness. Its not true, but she doesn't understand that. She also feels like you dont need her anymore, and, being her youngest child, you are the last one she has to hang on to
Gary says:
when you leave, she has no one else to mother or baby, no one who will need her "to live."
K8 says:
although I understand it all better... it doesn't help. I'm still stuck this way.. unhappy... and helpless
K8 says:
I hate that I can't do anything about it..
K8 says:
I went to Justin's today.. I wanted his parents so bad. I didn't want to leave his house
Gary says:
the only thing you could do is to try and talk to her.... but its not likly to work any time soon. like i said, it will get better, but its going to get worse first
Gary says:
and as for Justin's parents... every parent has their downside.. ask justin, if he doesn't know of one now, i'm sure he can come up with one later.
K8 says:
of course, but they're still so much better than mine.
Gary says:
try not to dream about other people's parents, because its not really much of a possibility
K8 says:
i know..
Gary says:
mmm i'm not sure.. yours seemed to have raised a very fine girl to me
K8 says:
I did most of the raising myself
K8 says:
I'm nothing like them.
Gary says:
i know.
Gary says:
they let you drift... and i think you're much better off than your sister.
K8 says:
agreed.
K8 says:
I guess you can go to bed now.
Gary says:
ha.. i have permission?
Gary says:
:)
K8 says:
heh... yes.. you were a good boy..
Gary says:
i think you should go to bed soon too... i think you've had a lot on your mind and a good nights sleep would do ya good.
Gary says:
well, i do try my best for you
K8 says:
I know you do.. and I thank you. A lot.
K8 says:
Goodnight Gary
Gary says:
g'nite Kate.

Sitting here in silent tears. I just want to be taken away from this place and held forever.
Post A Comment

rayray

08-01-03 12:33pm

Kate,
Justins parents are great. They've taken me in and they treat me like one of their own. But they do have their down side. All great parents do.

I kind of know what you are going through with your mom. Because Im kind of going through it also. My ma treats me like a little kid, and she tries to restrict me from a lot of things, so that I can't grow up. She wants alteast one of her children to stay young forever, and never leave herside. Thats basically how all mothers are. And being the youngest, sucks. When my ma and I go out in public and meet all her old friends she refers to me as her baby, and when I tell her Im not a baby, she always replies with, well you're always going to be my baby. And it sickens me.

Its part of being the youngest.

Well that is all for my rambling.. Hope some of it helps..

(reply to this)

eskimoflo13

08-03-03 3:18am

ok. parents make you the person you will be or you will not be. just ride it out and youll see that your going to actually thank your parents (even your mom) for something or the onter. you dont know it now, but say... 4 - 5 years later youll understand. give it some time.

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