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| babigurll315 (profile) wrote, on 8-11-2003 at 10:21pm | |
| Current mood: Aggravated Subject: take me away from this fucking hell hole. |
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| yeah so ive kept a lot private lately. i dont feel comfortable with people knowing my shit anymore. whatever. so some of this may have left off from things you havent heard of and some may be knew. fucking enjoy. so saturday night donna had an empty house. Donna Kate and I went over there first and we were having a get-together to just chill n drink n shit. My drinking got way out of hand shot after shot after shot. 3 types of vodka later i was a mess. the whole night was a blackout to me. i dont remember anything and it scares the shit out of me. the possibilities of what could have happened are frightening. Donna and Kate told their parents that they were at each others houses and when Kate wasnt picking up her cell phone her mom decided to call Donnas house (her parents are divorced, we were at her moms). We were busted everyone left and i threw up all over Donna's room and Kate had to call my parents to come get me. i couldnt stand and had to be helped to the car. i got home and threw up all over myself again and all over my bed and clothes on the floor. I was histerical, crying and i remember saying countless "im so sorry's" to my parents who were cleaning me up. it was the scarriest night of my life. my mom slept on my room to make sure i wouldnt choke on my own vomit and return to her bed at 6 30 when i woke up. i called katie crying and talked about everything that happened. i woke up in the morning with bruises all over my knees and knots on the back of my head. called tommy and asked alex what was going on and no one really knew where i was. louis told me chas and i kissed. the thought of alcohol disgusts me at this point and makes me sick. hungover and looking at houses. we bought one. and now im told we changed our minds and are looking for cheaper again. im grounded for a whole month...yup. im so upset with my mom at this point you have no idea. i feel like im being punished for not just beacuse i lied but because her having to come get me, the embarassment, and care taking was an inconvience. you know what fuck you. I LEARNED MY FUCKING LESSON and you can have whatever negative thoughts you want in your head to make you feel right. "jess what are you going to do when you get a car" "i dont think i want her getting a car" "do you know that you could have died" "that was so embarassing for us" yet she feels to tell everyone including parents whose daughters were not there nor involved. i made a fucking mistake and im going to pay for it. everyone knows she's perfect and NEVER fucks up. school starts in 3 days. i get my wisdom teeth pulled out tomorrow. give me some fucking valuum (sp) i see and talk a lot with mark now. he came over last night. i stated my boundaries. yet i get jealous when other people cross them. think about what you tell me and then think about what you dont tell me. i know, oh yes, i know. so um school better keep me busy. as much as im not looking forward to it i dont know what id do with myself at a time like this. love me damnit. |
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alwaysyours | 08-12-03 12:35am the odd part was that story made me feel awful i just wanted to hug you and hold you on youre side and tell you how OK things were going to be. and i was going to comment saying "jessica i love you!!!" and at the bottom it says "Love Me."
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babigurll315 | Re:, 08-12-03 12:22pm Nicole I love you and you have been missed. <333
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| alwaysyours | Re: Re:, 08-13-03 6:56pm aw :( god i missed you this summer<3333
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