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| thedarkerside (profile) wrote, on 8-12-2003 at 1:01am | |
| Current mood: tired Music: Evanescence- Going under Subject: Things.. |
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I'm not really excited about things...as far as school goes and all. I dont want to go back to it. Thats what got me started on all this shit...all this shit thats changed me. I'm afraid that i'm becoming to serious. I dont laugh and smile like I use to. I use to be happy. I use to feel like I had a good life that I was actually going to make it through my life but throughout the past year..things have changed...and I'm not sure what has changed them. I'm constantly pissed off. Theres always something bugging me that no one in this house can understand. Instead I get punished for how I feel or not saying how I feel. I dont care if it hurts to bottle stuff up inside but I guess I've grown accustomed to it. I'd rather go through this pain than to "talk it out". All that ever does is make people form new opinions on you based on how you feel. I've learned that one a couple of times. I dont want to hang out with anyone alot. I dont want to go outside. I just want to be isolated. I dont want anyones help...I dont need anyone to talk to me. There are some exceptions but not many. I dont look at life the way I use to. I just wish i could be I know what makes me this way. I know what I have to do to fix it. It all depends on how I deal with it. If I deal with it the right way and that there is progress into this than maybe slowly I'll feel like my self again but if I dont do anything about it...than...I'll be stuck. Its almost like an anternate universe. Things are so different when your "depressed" Its almost like everything is in different shades of gray. Like everything is on grayscale. There's something always holding you back...holding you back from saying things...felling things...everything. There is no way out of this unless you help yourself. I'm just afraid that when/ if I ever get to my "destination" that I wont be happy..and that it wont solve my problems. |
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Tbaby92588 | 08-12-03 9:57am
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thedarkerside | Re:, 08-13-03 2:08am I miss you too. I miss alot of things... |
ShAtTeReDsTaR | 08-29-03 8:48pm ummm... hey... ok i kno exactly how u feel. just plz dont deal with shyt the way i do! i dont want ne1 else to feel the way i do!
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