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Beagle147 (profile) wrote,
on 9-21-2003 at 3:36pm
Current mood: okay
Music: "I'm Still Here" -Johnny Rzeznik
I'm really pissed off. I left my entire music folder in the band room on friday. That means I've played nothing but the clarinet all weekend! I could not practice the new song at all! GRR! I'm also pissed that my parents made me delete Kazaa. -.- Apparently it lets in all kinds of viruses. Either that or they have no idea what they're talking about and just decided to delete something that I liked, so now I'm limited to things that I've burned to listen to while I'm writing. Not a good day.

This stupid percussion disease of not being able to keep my hands still anymore has given me freaking aim add. I can't sit here and not type. Not many people are online right now, so I came to woohu to write about absolutely nothing just because I have no music to practice and no one talking to me online. I don't know if that made any sense at all, but just go with it. Oh, and sorry about last night/this morning's post of all those quiz results...I was really tired and bored.

Today I finally went to church with krystle. (I told you I would!) I like her church a LOT better than mine. We got out of "big church" and went to help out with krystle's sunday school group of 5 and 6 year olds. They have a lot of energy for it being AM. I think I used to be able to be like that. Once. About 11 years ago.

I'm still trying to figure a lot of stuff out. I think IB is turning me into one of those people who needs a crisis. Either that, or there are a lot of crises right now. It used to be all about band. I don't really have too much to say about the workload of junior year, because I knew it was coming. I think that the whole lack of eventful things to deal with is leading to my whole blah-ness. It's like...I don't feel like doing anything, but it's not because I'm just lazy. There just isn't anything worthwhile to do. I guess theoretically I could "do my readin'," but I said worthwhile. I'm going to fail history no matter what I do. Actually though, I'm doing a lot better in this class than I did in last year's. I think it's just because I was so screwed over for last year by Mr. Lemon Head. The only thing I knew from world history in middle school was how to surf. God bless private schools. (>:o)

HEY! I just found ALL the music I downloaded!!!!!! WOOT!! It's all in a folder, but I'm no longer connected or whatever with kazaa. Now I can listen to music while I post!!! YAY! *adds music to top*

Anywho...I really don't know what's going on in terms of a bunch of ...stuff. I HAVE BECOME SUCH A BANDO! I think a lot of it has to do with Nikki leaving, but she got aim now, so ...woot! But seriously. I am spending all my time that I'm not in class practicing, even when I knew all the music. Now I'm all like obsessive compulsive about it, because I'm freaking out that I have to go TWO WHOLE DAYS without music! *gasp* Last year this would have been something to celebrate: I would have an excuse not to practice. It's just something weird. I practice more than leah. o.O That kinda scares me. I'm noticing myself slowly turning into someone else and it's kinda freaky. I'm actually being nice to people sometimes.. o.O Who would have seen that coming?? I dunno, I guess it's not that big of a deal, but just something thats....there. Is anyone else noticing anything? I can't tell if it's just inside my head, or if it's totally noticable, because no one has said anything, and I can't decide whether all these things I'm semi-unvoluntarily changing are good or bad.. Feedback please! I mean, come on, I'm listening to Good Charlotte right now, and actually liking the song. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! Atleast it's only this one song I like, and I'm still listening to more dave than his mom is.

Speaking of Dave, I saw his new video "gravedigger" from Some Devil in the middle of the night, WOW! That's a cool video, and it's a sweetness song. He played it at the concert I went to, but we didn't know what song it was. We were expecting it to be on busted stuff, but it wasn't so we decided it was just something unreleased, which it was, but no longer is. Some Devil is gonna rock the house!!! I can't wait till I get it! That'll give me something new to listen to so the people on my bus don't complain that I listen to the same 8 songs every single day on Busted Stuff on the way to school. If they would only listen to it, they'd understand. Or maybe it's just that I'm more weird than I realize. I just think that everyone else has music ADD. Those people that can't stand to listen to a whole cd from the same band.. I just don't get that. I listen to the same cd every day for months and then switch it to like another cd from dave. Almost the only time I listen to non-dave is when I'm writing this, which is why very few of my songs listed are from dave. Because I know all of you were wondering! o.~

Ok, I think that's enough bs. I have nothing left to talk about, so I guess I'll go actually study for my history dbq. :-(


I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway…
You don't know me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no I'm a man.
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
'Cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
They can’t see me,
But I’m still here.

They can’t tell me who to be,
‘Cause I’m not what they see.
Yeah the world is still sleepin’,
While I keep on dreamin’ for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I’ll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change?
They’re the ones that stay the same.
I’m the one now,
‘Cause I’m still here.

I’m the one,
‘Cause I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
Post A Comment
Anonymous

09-21-03 4:36pm

Mr. Lemon Head!! Try him as a home room teacher too! Way too much to stand of him.. Same with Wittie.. (Did I even spell his name right?? Can't remember any more.) Wow.. a reshowing of all those surfing and skin boarding tapes.. >.<

Change is something that happens. It's up to what you let yourself become to tell if it's a good or bad thing. But you're on a good track and have lots of good people to help ya so I'd say there's little to worry about. Of course, it'll be something freaky and possibly bothering but there's not much you can do except go with it.

~*~

P.S. LMAO at the percussion disease! HAHAHA

(reply to this)
Anonymous

Skillet!, 09-21-03 8:01pm

Hey Skillet -
Hah, I love that name, now that I know where it comes from. Anyway, about the music thing - try Winmx. I just got it, and it's a lot better (I think). I had Kazaa for a while, and it never really worked. Either that, or I was just being stupid... Anyway, try Winmx, if you're allowed.
Wow, you may really be changing. A show of hands: How many people have ever heard Skillet say 'woot' before now? I thought as much.
Ok, I'll stop making random comments now, I just wanted to say something b/c I haven't lately.
Bye Skillet!
-Adam

(reply to this)
Anonymous

Skillet!, 09-21-03 8:04pm

Hey Skillet -
Hah, I love that name, now that I know where it comes from. Anyway, about the music thing - try Winmx. I just got it, and it's a lot better (I think). I had Kazaa for a while, and it never really worked. Either that, or I was just being stupid... Anyway, try Winmx, if you're allowed.
Wow, you may really be changing. A show of hands: How many people have ever heard Skillet say 'woot' before now? I thought as much.
Ok, I'll stop making random comments now, I just wanted to say something b/c I haven't lately.
Bye Skillet!
-Adam

(reply to this)

Anonymous

Re: Skillet!, 09-22-03 8:22pm

Haha... Adam's a dork... he posted the same thing twice... (if you're Adam and you're reading this, then disregard the last comment)

Look! I read it all by myself! Without you asking (well demanding) that I read it. *takes a bow*

I'm still convinced that there is something about junior year... maybe it's just you and me lauren... but when junior year hit, i changed alot... not in the same ways... i became more outgoing (yes i know... i still have a long way to go with that one...) and I felt like I was becoming just kinda different... and I had a lot of blah days...

I know Nikki has told me this... probably u too... but junior year is so full of blah days... it's weird... not just because of intense work load... or the demanding teachers... or hours of homework EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... ;-) but it's just full of days when you're kinda like drained of emotions.... and I think that's normal (well as normal as nikki and I can be that is... lol...) and u shouldn't let that bother u. I know... easier said than done, but like amanda said, just go with it.

Junior year is defenitly a roller coaster ride and while you've had a pretty crappy start... you have to know that inevitably there are gonna be days when you have tons of fun and others when it's just like... ok... time to go home, sit in my chair and just kinda stare at the computer...

As far as u wondering if ppl have seen u changing... i think you've always been like this around me... some things tho are different but once again... it's just part of 'growing up' u know?

Hmmm... I'm starting to turn into Nikki... I'm scaring myself... time to end the post ;-)

-K

(reply to comment)

Anonymous

Re: Skillet!, 09-22-03 8:25pm

Haha... Adam's a dork... he posted the same thing twice... (if you're Adam and you're reading this, then disregard the last comment)

Look! I read it all by myself! Without you asking (well demanding) that I read it. *takes a bow*

I'm still convinced that there is something about junior year... maybe it's just you and me lauren... but when junior year hit, i changed alot... not in the same ways... i became more outgoing (yes i know... i still have a long way to go with that one...) and I felt like I was becoming just kinda different... and I had a lot of blah days...

I know Nikki has told me this... probably u too... but junior year is so full of blah days... it's weird... not just because of intense work load... or the demanding teachers... or hours of homework EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... ;-) but it's just full of days when you're kinda like drained of emotions.... and I think that's normal (well as normal as nikki and I can be that is... lol...) and u shouldn't let that bother u. I know... easier said than done, but like amanda said, just go with it.

Junior year is defenitly a roller coaster ride and while you've had a pretty crappy start... you have to know that inevitably there are gonna be days when you have tons of fun and others when it's just like... ok... time to go home, sit in my chair and just kinda stare at the computer...

As far as u wondering if ppl have seen u changing... i think you've always been like this around me... some things tho are different but once again... it's just part of 'growing up' u know?

Hmmm... I'm starting to turn into Nikki... I'm scaring myself... time to end the post ;-)

-K

(reply to comment)

Anonymous

Re: Skillet!, 09-22-03 8:47pm

Haha... Adam's a dork... he posted the same thing twice... (if you're Adam and you're reading this, then disregard the last comment)

Look! I read it all by myself! Without you asking (well demanding) that I read it. *takes a bow*

I'm still convinced that there is something about junior year... maybe it's just you and me lauren... but when junior year hit, i changed alot... not in the same ways... i became more outgoing (yes i know... i still have a long way to go with that one...) and I felt like I was becoming just kinda different... and I had a lot of blah days...

I know Nikki has told me this... probably u too... but junior year is so full of blah days... it's weird... not just because of intense work load... or the demanding teachers... or hours of homework EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... ;-) but it's just full of days when you're kinda like drained of emotions.... and I think that's normal (well as normal as nikki and I can be that is... lol...) and u shouldn't let that bother u. I know... easier said than done, but like amanda said, just go with it.

Junior year is defenitly a roller coaster ride and while you've had a pretty crappy start... you have to know that inevitably there are gonna be days when you have tons of fun and others when it's just like... ok... time to go home, sit in my chair and just kinda stare at the computer...

As far as u wondering if ppl have seen u changing... i think you've always been like this around me... some things tho are different but once again... it's just part of 'growing up' u know?

Hmmm... I'm starting to turn into Nikki... I'm scaring myself... time to end the post ;-)

-K


(reply to comment)

Anonymous

Re: Re: Skillet!, 09-22-03 8:50pm

ok i take that back about adam being a dork... it just posted my thing 3 times... very strange...


(reply to comment)

Beagle147

Re: Re: Re: Skillet!, 09-22-03 11:09pm

I was about to write that same thing, but then you did.

(reply to comment)

DragonSpeaker

09-22-03 9:02pm

Dude, all these posts and whatchamacallits have confuzzled me, but the percussion disease is hilarious. YOU ALL DO IT! *points and laughs* Well, it's better than getting weird looks when you say you're practicing fingerings. -.- (Think about it.) Everyone is so perverted. Yeah, anyways... Herr Zitrone Kopf was an interesting teacher, and the last-half-of-the-alphabet-homeroom drove poor Mr. Witte to the brink of insanity. I forgot why I started this post... lol. Back to cramming 35 years of history into an hour and a half of study! ^_^;

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