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theintervoice (profile) wrote, on 9-24-2003 at 3:30pm
Current mood: ugh Music: "radios in heaven" -Plain White T's Subject: today
just another day... well another day of O.R. had passed, i only got one more day and i'm back to my perfect life...i wonder...how it feels like to have some one in your control, like a puppet...yet she doesnt know, or does she see i'll keep complaining about the same thing forever....but if i didnt have this to complain about, what would i talk about? heh not much i guess...this kills me, but w/e doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. its not just her tho, its everybody. everybodt had a sotry to tell and there onyl so much you can take in beofre you just stop caring...that why i think i'm not a good friend, ugh wat a day.... i dont have a problem with anyone, anything, i dont have a problem with the world...i'm seen very differeently then i think i am..."they" have a probelm with me, yes "they"...the world, it doenst matter how many songs i write or lyrics i scream to get it out...it doesnt matter at all, cuz in "order" to get over this, u just need to let go completly...i dont think i'll ever be able to do that, and thats my problem-some of us try and trat and try and make it....but people like me try and try and try and try once more but fail, fail at what you ask? i dont know...everything...but that everything is actually ntuhing now because i've wasted it on one thing...my invision of "love" it not one person...its every person i've "loved"....but i dont feel better now that i got this out, i feel worse cuz i'm left with this thought in my head until something else can overcome. and i'm sad that this is what i have to worry about....while other kid are out having fun and worrying about toher teenage things like a ride to a party or getting her phone number....i'm stuck here worrying about merely surviving.....surviving my remaining teenage years...surviving my ambitions, expectations, love. this is all just way too extranuous. (sigh) ...just another day...
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