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| glitterkisses (profile) wrote, on 10-1-2003 at 9:28pm | |
| Current mood: restless Music: I drive myself crazy. Subject: It's all coming back to me now.....when you get ther, I'll already of beat you there. then we'll know...eh? |
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| I was deleting some old e-mails I saved to make some room for all the crap I get now, ….and reading this made me cry so hard. I need her so bad, and I feel like she’s totally forgotten about me. After everything, I miss her * so* much!……. “Hey- Okay I’m not really sure what is going on with you two but I am going to try to tell you what I think about it all. K. First off, I think that you guys need to seriously talk, there seems to be a total ‘lack’ of communication, and you know I’m right. You both tell me things opposite of the other one. And I’m not really sure what to think about it or even what to say. It’s hard to see you guys or know you guys are almost loosing eachother as friends. All through the year I would see you guys laughing and talking and now it just seems like you guys have given up on eachother. I can’t stand to see you guys loose eachother. No matter if it’s a fight or what, I don’t know. But out of all people you guys know how many fights I have gotten into this year, with you 2 and annalise and katie. And no matter how many fights I got into with any of you(or them) we always ended up being okay, and I don’t want to see you two end up, well not like that. I guess you could say. I can not be the person in the middle listening to each of you and knowning that I can’t really do anything to change the things you guys say. I’m not gonna be the person to tell each of you what the other person said, what you guys are telling me, you guys need to tell EACHOTHER. It wuold mean a lot more coming from one of you to the other person then it would coming from me. One of you will say that your fine with the other one but you think the other one isnt fine with you and vise versa, and I really try my hardest to tell you guys to talk but it doesn’t seem like you wanna listen or even do listen to what im sayin. I’m just tryin to help you guys out. I don’t wanna see your friendship go down the drain. I know what it’s like to get in a fight with someone you care about so much, and you don’t end up realizedhow much that person meant to you until there gone, and its true, you never know until there not there anymore. And I think each of you without each ther would be heartbroken, and wouldn’t know what to do. You guys are both so sweet and need each ther. You guys are best friends and deserve to always stay that way, just because it’s summer don’t let that get to either one of you. During school or during the summer you guys will always be best friends and I think that now that it’s summer you guys feel like since you don’t see each other everyday, there’s no reason to talk everyday. But there is, and you guys do need to talk. I try to talk to all of my friends each and everyday that I can, because you never know when there not going to be there anymore. Through this whole year, I have been through so much shit with all my friends, trusting, and all that shit, but at the end of the year I realized I only had a couple friends that I could hoenstly trust, and it’s you two, katie, annalise, and stephanie powers. And I’m sure you each have only so many people you can trust, and both of you can trust eachother and know that one another is always going to be there for you. I figured that telling each of you what I though in a IM thing would be harder so I just wrote it in an email. So I hope you guys talk about everything and I did what I did to try n help out. Talk to you both later. Heart ya both” …..last year, I told her everything. She was my shoulder all the time. I miss her so much, tonight I just started crying about everything going on. It’s just now how I thought it’d be, and I don’t expect everything to be the way it was, but just something, ….actually I do want things to be the way they were. I mean the normal thing would be to say, “We’ve both gotten over the fact that maybe our friendship wasn’t strong enough” but that’s bullshit. Bestfriends just don’t forget each other, and I know we could still have that friendship. I just don’t think there’s any effort left, and I just miss her sooooooooo much! I just want to walk up and hug her, and cry, and tell her about *everything* but somehow I doubt that will happen, and I really wish it would. Nobody understands. I love all my friends a lot, I mean I’m really close with all the friends I have, their just not people I call my friends and talk to every 2 months, but she was one that really taught me a lot ot things, she always made me have fun, and always cared. I just miss her so much. I don’t know what to do. I miss him too, I feel like I’m walking in never ending circles of….gosh I don’t even know. Too much time has gone bye for the same issue for it to keep making it’s since I guess eventually over lots of time, things will get better. I hope. All I know is I care too much to completely let him go, to all of those people. He’s too good to turn into them. I just hope he knows that no matter what happens, were still going to meet him at the end. So I guess it’s good, but it’s not. I’m 14 years old, and I feel like I’m 34 dealing with a life of an adult, and I’m too sick of it. I care too much, tomorrow things could totally just be….eh. I could die tomorrow, and what I want, wouldn’t matter a bit. You know, sometimes after always telling my friends how much their loved, and how much I care, and always being there for them, it’d really be nice if just for one day, someone just walked up to me gave me a big friecken hug and said, you know Jess, I lov ya! bah oh-well screw that, that’s dumb. fajfkajdfjakdfjlakjdflajflkajfdlkjadkfj this is so dumb, I’m need to go some place away from everyone, and sit bye the beach, and get some sun. |
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cassieyeo11 | 10-02-03 5:04pm jess i miss you so damn much!!!! i know just how u feel but dont worry, we will be best friends again i promise!! and tomorrow i am going to walk up to you and give u a big hug and tell u i love u, k?!!? and we have to hang out this weekend at red flannel and find our fat guy! lov ya |
glitterkisses | Re:, 10-02-03 6:01pm god that made me feel so much better cass you dont know how uch youmean to me, and no matter what ever happens you will always mean the same as you always have, no matter what, I promise. and that hug thing sounds good because I've been so lcose to doig that for the past.....god knows how long. Heh of course w'ell hang out and find out chub mister! hhehe I lov ya cass! |
cassieyeo11 | 10-07-03 6:31pm jess we need to talk...sometime soon. |
glitterkisses | Re:, 10-07-03 10:44pm Yeah, we do. I tryed talking to you at lunch, and you ddin't even say a word. I feel like sometimes, there's nothing left to say...or what to do. |