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| wierdo (profile) wrote, on 10-8-2003 at 5:25pm | |
| Alot of days i sit and wonder if this will get any easier. If this will get any better. I wish things were how they used to be. My family is really screwy. Right around new years of 2003 through like May was probably the best 4 months ever. My sister wasn't getting in trouble. She was home more and i got to do things with her more. My life was going good. School was ok. I had and still have a terrific relationship with Erika. I love the girl to death. I talked to my mom on the phone like every week.....rather than the every 3 weeks what i'm doing right now. My parents were happy with all of us and everything was just great. And now everything has just gone down hill. I mean there is some good things.......like me and erika are still together.....and i am having a somewhat successful golf season. But now things with my family are just crazy. Kamie is just being really stupid and she is never home. The only time i see her is at school. Justin is being an asshole like always and he continues to. My parents are sick of his shit and my sisters shit. They are gone every other day so i have no time to do things on my own. I have to plan things like way in advance. And i hate it.....it shouldn't be like that. It might not make any sence to any of you....but i just hate my family shit right now. And something that i am really beginning not to like......is me. I can do some dumb stuff. I'm sure everyone can agree that i can be really dumb. I always end up hurting people's feelings. Even if they dont admitt it.....i can just tell that what i said was just stupid and hurtful. And i dont know why but i dont realize things very quickly. I'm a guy....i just dont put 2 and 2 together very quickly. I hate myself for always getting to other people. I talk about my problems and complain when they probably already have problems of their own to worry about. I hate how i get on peoples nerves and make then frustrated at me. Even if they dont show it.....once again i just realize it after a while that i do dumb stuff and say stupid shit that frustrates people. So if you are any of those people.......more than half the time i probably dont even mean what i say or do......and things can be taken alot differently than what they were intended for. I dont know.......i just have alot of problems.......alot of issues.......alot of changes that need to be made. So if any of this apply's to any of you......then im sorry. I just dont feel like i'm being the greatest of a person right now. And i can be a better person......i know i can. And i dont think people really deserve most of the t hings i do. I dont know.......i'm just so fucked up. I wanna be a better person. If any of you have a say in this then leave a comment or something. Give me advice......talk to me about it.....i dont know........... |
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glitterkisses | 10-10-03 10:50am I don't really have a say but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what you're going threw. Me and my parents have been rocking back and forth always fighting for the *longest* time and just yesterday I totally balled my eyes to them. And maybe that's not you're solution, but I promise things will get better. Nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles. Good luck hun. |
wierdo | Re:, 10-15-03 3:44pm Thanks jesse! I'm sure things will get better. Its just the times when they are bad i hate the most. But yeah thanks for everything! |