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| justplainolemica (profile) wrote, on 10-13-2003 at 3:23pm | |
| Current mood: blah Subject: All cried out |
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| I dont think I can cry anymore. I dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I am writting this journal becaus I thought I figured out what I wanted to do. But as I sit here and write I've decided that I still dont know. No one but Buck knows what actually happened. Well, me John and Buck. Maybe I should talk to him about it. Or maybe I should talk to a new person, let them in on the hell that has become my life. I've decided I wont go see Randy. I started thinking and the chance of him and I doing something just isnt worth it. He knows I wouldnt want to do anything but I still think that he would try. And I dont like to be vulnerable around him. He tends to use that against me. So at least I have that part figured out. But other than that I've got nothing. The 24th Mal and I are going to Pete Yorn. I can look forward to that. Maybe for an hour or two I can just not think. My mind is racing and I wish it would stop.... so many wishes these days. I pray a lot now too. Maybe Sunday I will go to church... yes I think that I will. I will ask if Mal wants to go and if John is here then he can come too and if he doesnt then he can just stay home a little longer because I think that I need to go. So theres another decision. Hopefully as the week goes on more decisions will be made. | |
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l-town-boi | John, 10-13-03 4:32pm You say I am a wonderful guy , I am nowhere close to that. The only time I am wonderful is when I am with you , you make me such a good person you are the only one who can bring out the happiness and cutenessin me , and I am willing to fight to be with you , I cried today in class , I felt so weird but noone said a thing. If your wondering I cried b/c we have a paper to do on what women want and and i rose my hand and said HONESTY , I just couldnt hold it in. Thank you for commenting I hope you leave me more. Bye |
| justplainolemica | Re: John, 10-13-03 5:48pm How am I supposed to leave you more if I dont know how you feel. I hear you cry and I think you expect sympathy from me. How can I feel sorry for you when I cry too? So knowing you are crying doesnt help me find out what you are doing without me. I want to know what you are trying to do to show me youlove me. Show me what I'm missing. Dont make me feel guilty when I did nothing wrong. |