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| Aaron (profile) wrote, on 10-16-2003 at 12:02am | |
| Music: crawling in the dark, hoobastank Subject: "systimatic decline" |
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| I, i can't take it, i think i'm gunna pop. this is all too much. "oh hi paul, hows it going? what's up? come hang out with us. come here, i need to talk to you." or how about when they stand in the way, intentionally, like they want me to go away. that's probably what she wants, but i want them to go away, so we're even. i want the whole world to go away, so i can just be here, with her, and the only people that matter, and watch the rest burn in systimatic decline, my systimatic decline, because i would make them all go away, if i could............. | |
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shalee | 10-16-03 12:11am see? even you believe thats what i want. you believe exactly what im saying.. you ARE bleeding.. and it's my fault.. all my fault. im sorry.. |
| shalee | Re:, 10-16-03 12:16am just because you think it.. it doesnt mean it's true.. |
| Aaron | Re:, 10-16-03 12:19am no, it's every one elses fault, morigan and alex and mandy and mark and quin and josh and zach and michael and collin and tanner and christian, and evryone else that even fucking has a pulse!!!! and then, even more so, the ones that want me away from you. but today, you pulled away from me, when i got close, you ran off, not when i was just near, no, it was when i held your hand that i could sence your discomfort. i don't know why, you say you love me, and i know i'm being a selfish ass and that i really should get a life and i'm working on it, but in order to have a life beyond you i have to love beyond you, which is highly improbable, and i'm sorry, i'll call now, unless that's not what you want. today i was going to kiss you, but it hit me that you didn't want that. and i was going to ask you if you wanted to go see a movie or hang out at the mall on saturday, but that to seemed, farfetched. i was going to tell you i loved you, but yo;u didn't want to hear that, did you? but you know what, of all that, hurts the most? you hurting yourself. i can't stand to see you hurt, for two reasons, i feel what you feel, and you don't diserve it. so i'm calling now. see you in a minute... |
Aerii | Re: Re:, 10-16-03 12:51am Why is it my fault? |
Aerii | Re: Re:, 10-16-03 12:51am Why is it my fault? |
Aerii | Re: Re:, 10-16-03 12:51am Why is it my fault? |
| Aaron | Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 1:10am i'm sorry, i really am. to everyone. all of you. you were so dear to me.... i'll miss you so so much. goodbye now, goodbye. this'll be four if it doesn't work....... wow, i'm not scared, not at all. but i still think she doesn't want me around. her voice was so icy, that was twenty minutes of practically complete scilence. now, for some reason, i can smell her hair. maybe i don't want to. after all, it's only thirteen years, so what, that's along time. thirteen years from now, you could be anywhere, doing anything, so who knows? well, i won't i guess, i am a coward. i'll go now. |
| shalee | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 1:22am 20 minutes of silence?! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME CRYING?! |
| Aaron | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 10:19am i think i was too busy crying my self. i'm sorry.... I should have heard... |
| shalee | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 11:40am no, you shouldnt have. I'm sorry. I'll stop this nonsense now. |
| Aaron | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 8:21pm was it devon? that made you cry? or the whole element of things? |
| Aaron | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 10-16-03 8:34pm regardless of what you were feeling, i need to be there for you more, you always are there for me... |