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| seaofsorrow (profile) wrote, on 10-15-2003 at 11:54pm | |
| Current mood: semi-horible Music: the postal servcie |
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| i just experienced on of the worst moments of my life, so far. she randomly logged off, after she said she wanted to die...or sleep for a really long time. and i started freaking out and i called her as soon as i could. the phone just rang and rang 'til her answering machine picked up, i was really worried. thoughts running through my head: "did i do something wrong?!" "why wont she pick up?" "maybe she is just taking a shower?" Image instantly runs through my head: her bleeding with the water of the shower washing the blood off of her swollen, cut arms. i called three times after, leaving a message 2 of the times. i was shaking, crying and breathing heavily while holding a sewing needle in my hand. durng my debate of whether or not to dig in, i begain puncturing my arm with the needle. i didn't cut myself, which is good. *phone rings* i picked up instanly and it was her, apparently her internet kicked her off and she didnt bother signing back on.she did infact take a shower, but she was alive and unharmed physically. she applogized many times, and then we hung up. |
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aknifetomyheart | 10-16-03 4:36pm whoa. good thing everythings okay... oh yeah... she has feelings for me still, she never didnt, ill explain later. :)
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