| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| Aaron (profile) wrote, on 10-18-2003 at 2:57pm | |
| Current mood: calm Music: strange technno on tori's computer Subject: don't give me that shit |
|
| i have so much to yap about it's disgusting. ok, so here it is. first we start with updates on my current emotional status. no one cares but me, so i don't know why i do this, but i do, so :P. well, optimistic outlook- she loves me and brian and ian were right. realistic outlook- she loves me, but brian and ian's coments were less than possible. pessimistic outlook- it was a sympathy comment and she doesn't at all, and in fact still likes brian or quin or devon. hmph, i wish i knew what to think. i can't figure this out. ok look, she's having "troubles" (fuck my prying and lip reading abilities) and is just a little embarresed and doesn't want to talk to me right now. that makes sence. you can't blame her for that. / oh i know what you want to say/ what then? i wan't to say alot of things, most of which i will. no matter, that's for murgzy anyway./ whatever, you know-/ just go, your screwing with my entry. well, yeah, i know that this sounds wierd if i say it in my own words, so i'll quote various people from last night with as much accuracy as possible first off. Ian-"paul, dude, are you crying?" paul-"no man, i'm fine." Ian-" no really, what the fuck is the matter? Paul-*glares* Ian-" oh, i get it, brian, come over here, now, no sam you fuck off, this is serious" brian-"what it is?" Ian-" i don't know, something to do with tori." brian-"do you love her?" paul-*rolls eyes and says sarcastically* nooo........... what the fuck do you think??" brian-" does she love you?" paul-" i- i think so..." Ian-"then what's the problem" paul-"I know she has a legitimate not to be talking to me, but i'm a fucking pessimist, OK???" Ian-"what's wrong with her?" paul-"No way i'm telling you, but it's not as bad as i know you think it is." Ian-"How much do you love her?" paul-" if it were seven years from now, i'd marry her" ian-"you know, that doesn't seem so impossible" paul-"what do you meen?" ian-"she fits." paul-"huh?" ian-"you two go together' paul-"don't give me that" ian-"what?" paul-"your shit. you know that's what, 140% longer than i've known her before i could think about that sort of thing" ian-"whatever, man, whatever, but you know you're wrong, you will marry her, she's fucking perfect" paul-"would she marry me?" ian-".........." five hours later i'm lieing in the dark, watching the matrix reloaded and thinking to myself '90% of who we are is who we believe ourself to be, and the other ten percent is who everyone else believes us to be. that is the system. we are made up of beliefs.' and then i smelt her hair again, and realized the biggest obstical in my way was my own beliefs that i wasn't good enough for tori to ever love me, so i acted like a pessimist, and now that i believe that i'm above that, i can rise and at least believe, if not be, that i am worth something more than a road block, a obstical for her to pass. i won't let go. so don't try and make me. please, accept my apologies for my selfish and negative behavior. i will be stroger than this. i am, that is what i believe. ok then. life is getting better, it might be worth living... |
|
| Post A Comment |
Aerii | ..., 10-18-03 11:31pm Ian's right... |