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Aaron (profile) wrote,
on 10-18-2003 at 4:42pm
Current mood: dirty
Music: more tachno on tori's computer
Subject: Shoulder to cry on
I hate this. being a guy sucks so much. who gave us this rap in the first place? who? i'll shoot them, i would. Who was it that decided that guys were supposed to be tough and able to handle themselves enotionaly? they were a moron. we hurt, we feel pain, or is it just me? is it? it is isn't it? either way, i still don't know what to do. the way i see it, the world puts more on my plate than i can stomach, and so i should be able to eat till i'm full and then dump the rest off, but no, i'm supposed to eat it all and puke it all over every one. in other words, take all i can than have someone to just listen to my shit that i can't eat, let it fall with the tears, harmlessly to the ground. but no, i have to eat it and the overflow and do things like 2 weeks ago when i attacked madeline, that's what happens when you spew on people. so girls don't want to hear my shit, guys would just reject me and give me more, adults want nothing more than to shout out their opinions and i just wan't someone to listen, not to give me bake the shit i'm spilling out. that's what i need. a shoulder to cry on, but i guess, because of what i am, there isn't one, is there?
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shalee

10-18-03 5:08pm

theres always mine..

(reply to this)
Aaron

Re:, 10-18-03 6:19pm

Thanks. i know i've told you this a thousand times but you're the only person that i can trust. you're the only person that could understand me. i guess that's why i love you, but you can never tell. i just wish...............
i wish that i could be there for you when you needed someone. i'm sorry. i feel so stupid, so worthless. i should stop feeling sorry for myself. i should stop cutting myself, but every time i see a blade i can't help but think about how much i diserve it. ian was right, and i'm glad. he said something about you that wasn't in my entry, and it was what i was thinking. you're a sweet girl. you have a heart. alot of people would look at me and say,"oh, what a sad little bastard", but you loved me. i don't understand, but then i don't have to, do i?

(reply to comment)
independenttruckergrl

Re: Re:, 08-19-05 9:57pm

i have a heart too



but no, that doesnt matter...
i am not doing this for me..

i am doing it for you.

(reply to comment)