| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| hitokirivader (profile) wrote, on 10-22-2003 at 12:44am | |
| Current mood: distressed Music: Everclear - Santa Monica Subject: Are we idiots? Maybe we just haven't realized it... |
|
| I was thinking again (omg run for you lives), thinking back on my childhood, my recent years, and the future... A few little things I saw or heard in these past couple days have made long dormant memories of my childhood come back to me, and all I could do was smile and laugh at how innocent and silly life was as a child. I remember way back when; I had thought I had this world down, but compared to me now, my view of the world was far from complete. But then again, who's to say my view right now is complete? Our minds learn and grow through experience, but if we can't anticipate the future and what we'll become, we're just sitting ducks wallowing in false hopes that what we do is not in vain. When I think back to my more recent years, I can't help but pine over some really terrible decisions I've made, only making me want to go back and slap some sense in me. Just like when considering how I've changed since childhood, I feel far more worldly and wiser right now than I did in high school, but unfortunately where I am now is for the most part based on decisions I've made in recent years... what I now consider years of ignorance. In high school, I felt ready to take on the world and make my own decisions, but my present-day self would have never let me dream of doing such a thing. I feel like I'm my own parent, and I feel like I've failed at raising myself, miserably. Whatever happened to all of that potential? I was too damn busy living in the present doing jack squat to take any advantage of it. And someday, I'll probably live to regret what I'm doing right now. Namely, I guess that's why I avoid doing a lot of things, like drugs, that I might regret; I'm too goddamn afraid that I'll feel even worse about what the hell I've done with my time and how I've disregarded my future. I've had enough regret in my life to know that I sincerely hate it. I think Pvt. L.L. Church from "Red vs. Blue" put it best when he said: "You are a goddamn idiot. And I'd like to prove this mathematically if I may. Take your current age. Now subtract 10 years from it. Were you smart back then? Of course you weren't! You were a goddamn idiot! The fact of the matter is, you're just as big an idiot today... it's just gonna take you 10 more years to realize it." Why am I so depressed? I was happy 2 minutes ago. Ugh. I'll be happy once I get some sleep. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
sambuzz262 | Raising yourself, 10-22-03 4:54am You should have spanked yourself more often
|
| G33K | Re: Raising yourself, 10-22-03 5:39pm LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, RETURN OF THE KING COMES OUT IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS =) |
| Anonymous | 10-22-03 7:19pm you said so yourself. Life is all about experience. You stray from doing drugs bc you'll regret it. good. but everything else that happens, thats out of your control, just learn from it. it'll make life and the trials that come with it a lot easier to handle. =) |
hitokirivader | Re:, 10-22-03 10:32pm Yeah, I suppose I'll just live each day as it comes; if I screw it up, I'm just being human and that's growing.
|
lowbacca1977 | regret, 10-23-03 3:26am however, don't forget that a life led always in the shadow of future regret loses the vitality that makes life worth living |
heliozoan | 10-30-03 9:13am my last reply got erased, i think. here it is again (almost)
|