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Aaron (profile) wrote,
on 10-23-2003 at 12:19am
Current mood: guilty
Music: tomorrow, smashing punpkins
oh now i feel like shit. last night i promised i'd call at eight, but couldn't until eight-thirty due to my dads giahumungus lecture, and the fact that he neaded to take us to dinner (hell knows why). so yeah, tonight i get home and try to get through my chores and homework as quick as possible, it's only eight thirty, and madeline takes the phone. i could have been, "fuck no maddy, i promised tori i'd call at eight, it's fucking eight-thirty, and i haven't called her, and i don't give a flying fuck in a frozen over hell what your problems are" but no, i went and thought, oh poor maddy, all crushed like this, and then i bitched at sean, which was loads of fun, and now they're talking away and i'm stuck in my own shit. i feel so irresponcable. this brings me to explain a train of thought today. last sunday during the surmon, pastor doug went on in mock form about his love when he was twelve, with his stupid grin on and his sarcastic droning voice going off again. what the hell does he know? he said that love at that age is unacheivable. so does every other adult i've talked to. my dad said strong feelings, but he could have said love, but no, he didn't want to cantradict or make an acception to all of his past statments about love. he knows i love tori. i told him i thought that their stupid punishment was worth the time with tori, and that's fucking love, m'kay? if love isn't when every single issue and problem and obligation and virtually every section of your life secondary to her's, i have no idea what is. if love isn't having her being the only thing you can think about for 90% of the time and then the other 10% of your thoughts lead to thoughts about her, i don't know what is. but love is a dieing species, and it's dieing quick. you here guys tell girls they love them and then dump them the next day, and guess what, that whole i love you load, was nothing mor than a load. a load of shit. love is non-biodegradable, it doesn't go away. it sticks. and though you can ignore it, when you step on it it hurts your foot. eventually you will not be able to hold it back anymore. it shakes loose.
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shalee

10-23-03 11:30am

It's okay that you didnt call. I went to bed early anyways... So yeah, dont worry about it.

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shalee

Re:, 10-29-03 7:37pm

maybe it isnt love.. maybe it's obsession.. maybe thats just what they think.. who knows..

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