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| Randomperson (profile) wrote, on 11-15-2003 at 12:12pm | |
| Current mood: about 40 of them... Music: My good friend "Radio" by Alkaline Trio. |
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| I hate this... this whole Christmas Dance thing is a pile of shit.... Not the whole dance and arrangements... It's the girls. I'm going with Leah, and even though we decided to go as friends, ever since a few days after I asked her, a problem arose inside of me. My feelings for her grew, and I'm stuck going with a girl I really like, (who doesn't care for me as anything more than someone to pay for her dinner before the dance) and I have no friends to turn to. Plus, I have another girl flirting with me, who I kind of like who everyone thinks I should go with, but I don't want to go with, and Katie, who 40% of the school thinks that i AM taking... The simple breakdown: -1 girl, going with me, who I have unrequitted feelings for. -1 girl, I'm not fully sure I like, who is flirting with me, who I don't want to take. -1 girl, who I am definitely NOT taking, but 40% of the school (and some of my friends) think I am taking, so those friends are useless to talk to because they are out of the loop -Plus, The whole Kailey thing was happening during all of this, so I was all messed up about that at the same time as the whole Leah/Autumn thing. -1 boy, with loads of inner turmoil, no friends to turn to, pissed, angry, confused, complacent, sad, rejected, sore, and unsatisfied, all at once. None of my friends will listen to me. The ones with their dates are in a picture-perfect world, without a care in the world, and instead of hearing me out, they give me hypotheticals, say I'm acting stupid, or say "Go with Autumn..." I explain my predicament about going with a girl who I like who doesn't like me, and how much it hurts, but nobody gives a damn. --------------------------------------------- peekaboo2488: u guys are just going as friends peekaboo2488: its supposed to be fun peekaboo2488: stop ruining it RandomPerson1110: no, that's not what it is from my perspective peekaboo2488: ur making it into some big deal and its making u look stupid RandomPerson1110: it's me asking leah as a friend, but starting to like more day by day... now i really really like her, she doesn't like me, i'm stuck going to the dance with her RandomPerson1110: get it ? peekaboo2488: but u cant blame that on anyone RandomPerson1110: i'm not peekaboo2488: yeah ur getting pissed cuz some people are trying to do something in leahs benefit RandomPerson1110: huh? peekaboo2488: forget it RandomPerson1110: what do you mean? peekaboo2488: nothing RandomPerson1110: look, i'm really confused, angry, sad, and in the dark right now RandomPerson1110: i wish someone would open up and tell me something peekaboo2488: thats not my fault RandomPerson1110: i;m not saying it's your fault peekaboo2488: im not going to break a promise just so u can feel better peekaboo2488: but dont ruin this christmas dance thing, its supposed to be fun RandomPerson1110: if i'm ruining everyone's christmas dance, then why doesn't leah just not go with me peekaboo2488: because u want to go with her RandomPerson1110: so she doesn't want to go with me... but is just going with me to be nice peekaboo2488: shes going because u asked her and she said yes Peekaboo is natalie... one of my best friends. That part where she says something about people doing "something for Leah's benefit"... yeah, I forgot to mention it... They're withholding stuff from me.... Which makes me 1) suspicious 2) unimportant 3) like I'm not wanted... and it only makes me think that I'm wasting my time going with her I feel a bit of optimism coming through in my head as I'm writing this sentence, like I should buck up, make this whole thing fun, and forget everything... Maybe it's cause I vented here (none of my friends wanted to help me with that) and I wrote out what I felt. Maybe it's my carefree, "screw everyone and everything. It all amounts to nothing in the end" side coming through.... But now, as I'm writing this, it's gone again. It comes and goes...I want to go and do something, or curl into a ball and stay in the dark in the basement all day... one or the other. Damn, I'm so conflicted and screwed up. |
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jburt1 | 11-15-03 1:10pm Hey, it's okay. There's always some drama associated with any one of the formal dances; I think that's b/c pople make a much bigger deal about it than it should be. I ask you this: what made you decide to ask Leah in the first place, and was this before you started to have feelings for her/know that she didn't like you? If by any chance you don't have a good time at the dance, just remember that you got next year (and the year after that) to make up for it. |
Randomperson | Re:, 11-15-03 5:50pm I kind of liked her on and off last year, and I may have said I didn't start to have feelings for her until after I asked her, but I take it bacK; i did have feelings for her BEFORE I asked her... so that's probably what helped influence me to ask her. But, I thought there might be a chance she could have/start to have feelings for me... but I give up... she won't.
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harris26 | 11-26-03 5:43pm Andrew, just remeber that if at anytime you need someone to talk to or just yell you can always come to me
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