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| emo414 (profile) wrote, on 11-25-2003 at 7:40am | |
| Current mood: worried Music: Lone Star - I'm amazed by You Subject: I really am Thankful |
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| while everyone else is tucked away with their families at tables with great food and an attitude filling the room of love and happiness and especially thankfulness, i will be states away from people that i love seeing others that i love very much but the feeling in my thanksgiving room wont be happiness and thankfulness. i am probably going to be depressed yet forcing myself to look happy (i am pretty good at this though because i get practice everyday when i have to talk to a few people in the halls) because right across the table from me is going to be my grandpa who is undergoing radiation and chemotherapy for cancer. i will be sitting across from my grandpa that has lost thirty pounds that he didnt have and that has lost all his soft and silky white hair (i might add he had more hair than my dad), but i will also be sitting across from my grandpa that can barely get the words out "i love you" when we are getting off the phone with eachother because he has no energy because cancer has killed off all his red blood cells and soon him as well. the minute i walk in their front door to their two bedroom two bath patio home in Huron Ohio i will run over to my grandpa give him the biggest hug i ever have and start breaking down crying because for all i know that may be the last time i will be able to hug him like that again and the last time i will be able to say i love you to him. i just hope that everyone has a really great thanksgiving and a good day at school on wednesday because on wednesday on the car ride to ohio i will be planning how to make myself not cry to sleep thursday night because i have to see my grandfather, the guy who made me british if you couldn't tell, die right before my own eyes. i am thankful though that i get to see him because this could be the last opportunity i get. i really am thankful. | |
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| Anonymous | from friend, 12-11-03 6:52pm ugh im so sorry about your granpa...it really hurts to see them that way....God it really does. Im here for you though if you need to talk to me about it or anything...my grandpa was liek that too...i felt liek he changed...after the heart attack he wasn thim anymore. God i miss him tho. N e ways, my aunt is going through radiationa dn all that shit too and I hate it...everythign about her looks old and sick...and she is young too. Ugh..i hate sickness....Im sorry Ryan..hang in there |