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| BigBen61 (profile) wrote, on 11-26-2003 at 9:26pm | |
| Current mood: everything hurts Music: end of the world |
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| Yep life is still hell today got online, talked on the phone, went to the store, worked out till i passed out when i came to hide in my closet for a while, got back online and listened to music, got off packed, got back on. I dunno i thought i was foolin people at school but people still noticed the difference, only the ones who actually care about me though to everyone else i'm fine. Over the past couple years i've gotten pretty good at surpressing pain till i was alone so i can act some what normal but i have never had this hard of a time with it. I saw that she liked someone else and hope it works out for her i really do she deserves to be happy. I still wish i had kept my promise to myself i wouldn't be in this mess, i can't seem to detatch myself from my emotions like some people. Shes still on my mind all the time i don't know what to do about that i know she will be for a long time i'm still worried about all of my friends, i tried this thing that corey showed me and when you do it you draw or write somethin thats in your subconsious i didn't keep doing it because i stoped and looked at it and it was an M and an E i knew i should have known thats what it would be how could it be anything else shes still in my dreams. I thought it would start dying down after a while but it didn't the only time i feel anybetter is when i'm with my friends. Corey and cherie especially they use two very different methods. Corey could make me laugh even no how much emotional or physical pain i'm in and cherie just has this way about her that just comforts me. Don't get me wrong all of my friends do help me out but i just talk to these two more. I love you all very much and i always will. | |
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t0mato | 11-27-03 2:43pm Hey ben, i was just browsing and i found your journal!
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wildthing | 11-27-03 4:36pm me too! do you know who this is??? *Test's Ben's brain* |
rere12389 | 11-27-03 6:37pm i completely understand exacty what your going through. I know what its like to not be able to get someone off ur mind. its like they were ur whole world and now they're gone. I wasn't gonna tell u yet but something inside me is saying i should, so monday i'll tell u whats been going on with me k? luv u tonz! |
BigBen61 | Re:, 12-01-03 7:26pm You already told me but if you ever want to talk about don;t ever be scared to come to me with anything you know i love you. |
| Anonymous | 11-29-03 6:58pm Ben,
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