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| painttheskywithstars (profile) wrote, on 11-27-2003 at 12:40am | |
| Current mood: depressed Music: Evanescence - *My Immortal* Subject: Happy Thanksgiving |
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| Exactly a year ago, I felt the lonliest I've ever felt in my entire life. I was at my dad's house for Thanksgiving, as I will be later today again, and it was right after David and I had had our first big break up. I was a wreck. I was crying all the time and writing line after line about how much i missed him. I remember thinking.. "I wonder if he's as lonely as I am right now?" And i hoped and waited for him to call me. He finally did and I was certain it meant he missed me, and that sliver of hope kept me going and lifted me up just a tiny bit. Later on in the week, I found out he had a new girlfriend, and realized that I had spent the entire holiday mulling over what I'd done wrong and how I could get him back. Still then I didn't seem to notice how much time I had wasted crying and being so upset and heart broken. Now, as I read over the journal entries I'd written a year ago today, I realize how much better I am now. I don't even feel like that girl anymore, the girl that cried and moped because her boyfriend didnt love her anymore. It makes me so sad reading over stuff I've written about how lonely I felt, remembering that awful feeling, remembering how I would try so hard to hide my tears in front of my family. I wish I would have saved myself last year, instead of dwelling in such sadness without him. This Thanksgiving, im so thankful for the strength I've gained over this past year. | |
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| Anonymous | "ahh, lets go", 11-27-03 1:28am Julia, you are an AMAZING person...and it's awesome that you realized all this, but just think of it this way. If you hadn't mulled about David that week, there would be no lesson to learn. you are awesome, and can do way better.... |
PercentZero | 11-27-03 3:07am I agree. Congratulations on overcoming weakness and may it prove useful in the future.
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painttheskywithstars | Re:, 11-30-03 1:22am thanks.. (two days later) :) I read your journal, and i keep going back for more. You write with substance, I like it. |
| PercentZero | Re: Re:, 11-30-03 4:07am Substance...
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| Anonymous | Failing flailing, 11-27-03 4:43pm Yeah julia, "positive reinforcements etc etc etc."
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