sigh, 11-28-03 8:35am

hey ryan. as you know. i have been keeping up with your journal entries...and i didn't want to respond until you came to a good stopping moment. i wanted to let you know that these entries have honestly touched me- and have also made me think about the things i've done in the past year that i too need to give up...and give thanks for the wonderful things i do have. ryan i love you so much buddy and i know you're going through so much. and i know i've said this before but this time it's in a whole different light- i am there for you through anything you need buddy, okay? and listen, those habits that you realized this weekend you wanted to give up- i don't blame you. and i know it's gonna be hard for you being around frankie and other friends all the time who do do those things- A LOT- but hey, now me and you both are giving up some bad habits and i'll be there for you okay? just know that. and again, i love you. in fact, i love you sooo much im typing this with one broken swollen finger, and one jammed finger. lol- yeah, i was playin football with my uncles and dad, and dad just HAD to throw it a LITTLE hard- and when i caught it, it broke my finger! it hurt soooooooooo bad! but anyways- that's not the point- i wanted to show you that i love you so much i sat here and wrote all of this with two swollen hurting fingers! lol. i'll make it....im a fighter- haha. well it's friday morning and you don't get back until tomorrow- keep writing in your journals and i'll keep replying while your gone. i miss you buddy and can't wait for you to come home. and hey- maybe your visit there hasn't been the absolute happiest it couldve been, but since you don't know how long you have with your grandpa, try and make the best of it. NONE of us our promised tomorrow- - - just remember that.

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11-28-03 12:49pm

Cheer up emo kid.
(Coming to you from another emo kid. Yay.)

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11-29-03 2:34pm

"But it's not you, I just don't feel quite right today
All these things I say and do were never planned
But how the fuck am I supposed to make you understand that"

"Don't waste your time on me
Youre already the voice inside my head
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight...
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?"
.:blink 182:.

You know, sometimes I wish I could just tell you everything that I've always wanted to say. Somehow, though, it would never be enough. I can't ask you to wait. But I will never tell you to move on. I don't know whats going to happen. I wish I could. Just, believe me when I tell you that I love you with everything I have b/c through everything we've been through, you are one of my best friends. I'm here for you even though you think I'm not.


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Hey, it's Kylie., 12-01-03 6:38pm

You would never beleive this but. . . you told me your journal name and site, and i remebered! well your entries are really sad, you cry alot, which surprises me bcus you seem happier than that. You should try theatre arts. fun as heck. well i said that i'd probably not want to do an online journal, and well, i ate my words didnt i? because look where i am. i got bored and started one of these, so yes, you can say that i sort of jumped on the bandwagon here. if you read my entries, u'll think that they are silly and pointless, but if you take a look in my actual diary at home, it will be filled with the same meaningless crap. im dead serious about that. I don't usually write when I'm sad. Mostly when I'm bored or uber pissed. lol. cheer up if you feel like it. If not, don't wipe your tears. ::hugs::

<3 Kylie

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c'mon ryan, 12-06-03 6:02pm

yeah so how about it's about time you wrote another frikking journal entry eh????

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