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greenpixiestix (profile) wrote,
on 12-3-2003 at 11:32am
Music: American Steel - It's Too Bloody Anyway
Subject: we're too young to know we're old enough to die...
My life will never be a fairytale. If you're a wussy, spoiled, innocent brat, then don't read this... If you don't mind a little violence, then
I'm a mess, and a dumb, nervy one at that. Way too impulsive when I have a violent bout of emotion. My mom was looking for a fight yesterday, and of course, I took the brunt of it. After awhile, I couldn't take the yelling, and mumbled "Shut up!", which I KNOW I shouldn't have said. That's way too disrespectful, but I was thinking it, and couldn't stop it from coming out of my mouth. She decided that instead of her usual smackdown, she'd have me hit myself b/c she was "so disgusted [she] didn't want to touch [me]". I protested, but when she repeated herself, I gave in and hit myself. You have to respect your parents' wishes in this society, but I was pissed off, and I couldn't very well hit her, so I punched myself in the face a few times. She laughed at me. She was like, "You're so stupid. I didn't tell you to punch yourself in the face." It's a good thing I don't bruise easily, but dang, it hurts when I even move my face at all... therefore, little eating, drinking, or talking today... At least now I know I can really pack a punch, eh? Haha no wonder nobody in school ever picked a 2nd fight with me...

And the funny thing is, I can justify everything she's ever done to me with "She just wants me to be respectful, respectable, and successful."

Avoiding him didn't go quite as planned. H wrote me a song. It's nice, but ridiculous. I don't want to sound heartless, but love songs are funny. Maybe if it had a bit more like "We" by Descendents, that would have been ok... Let's just pray that he doesn't take Shea's advice: "you got to BUY her something." I don't want anything from him.

Did I mention that Kelly Hu (X2) is gorgeous? I totally want to look like she does ;)
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