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| moana (profile) wrote, on 12-11-2003 at 8:36pm | |
| Music: Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows Subject: fuck off |
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| today pissed me off. what with my brother and my mom going to dickie's without me, even though my treacherous backstabbing brother KNEW i've been dying to go there in ages, before he came parading his purchases under my nose, over my physics homework. i mean, i woke up at like noon and got up, cleaned the house, swept the rugs, did the laundry, made lunch, vaccumed the hall, tidied all their rooms and beds, changed the cat's litter, and worked on my homework, while they were out shopping. how rude! wait it gets better, my mom left for a party that she came home form at like 1, dressed like all that, and i stayed home, fucking studying for fucking exams. my brother was out all day God knows where. oh but wait! it gets even BETTER! when my mom got home, she started yelling at me about my grades. WHAT THE FUCK?! i feel like shooting somebody i swear. i just wanna go to my dad's house, go to school, ANYTHING ot get out of here, i just don't think i can stand being home anymore! my mother's gone insane, not in modern slang terms, i mean she's actually diagnostically going insane, like my grandmother, and my brother acts like this is a hotel. he comes here to shower and dress and eat, but does everything else elsewhere. and i'm like the keeper, you know, the little maid, "can i get you anything? is your food to cold? you want me to heat that up for you? is it too hot? you want me to fan it and blow on it? please let me get up to change your channels. please call me from the living room so that i can turn the lights off in your room. please let me send all your messages and take all your fone calls. oh can i wash your underwear by hand? goodie do i get to change the cat's shyt?" UGH i wanna get out of here! i can't stand living here, i jsut can't, i'm going crazy, i need to leave i need somewhere i can breathe. no wonder i get to school so early, no wonder i get home so late, it's not circumstance, i jsut don't want to be home anymore. i want to go somewhere and just vanish, and die and i don't want any of my family or friends to show up, because they can't possibly imagine. i have random people coming up to me going "oh my life's over! my boyfriend broke up with me!" and it's like "yeah i had to get a job so that i could pay for my own surgery because my mother couldn't afford it and my father simply wouldn't, you really think i give a fuck about your social issues?" i sued to wish i had such petty worries as everyone else, but it's so much more complicated for me! i hate where my life is headed, maybe that's why i haven't eaten a thing all day. if i'm lucky, i might jsut starve to death and give everyone a rest. i don't feel like fucking slaving for anybody anymore. the floors i spent half my morning washing, no one even noticed. instead it was a "why isn't there any toilet paper in the guest's bathroom?" kinda thing, where not only are my achievements being ignored, but i am being criticised for that which is minute and STUPID. when i wouldn't serve my brother his lunch in his room, he got up and did it himself, screaming the entire time that he had to do everything in the fuckin house, and that i odn't understand that he's been working hard all day. so he had an exam for less than an hour, an exam he laughed off when i asked him about it, and he drove to school to drop off my portfolio, and then spent the rest of the morning shopping, and HE'S the one slaving and doing everything in the fucking house? the nerve of some people, the nerve of THESE people. i seriously don't know who i wanna kill more, them or me. SHYT i hate this fucking house! i wanna get out, i wanna get out, i wanna get out and i don't know how. somebody tell me how.. | |
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Barney | 12-12-03 9:46am Come and live with me for a while fajeh.. you know i'll be happy to have you! (@) |