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billyfan (profile) wrote,
on 12-20-2003 at 7:51am
Current mood: crushed
Music: none
Subject: huh
Um well I just got back from my mom's friend Karens cookie baking party, and it was really fun and there were some cute guys there and I took one of them James, out on the balcony to talk because he was really sort of cute and he had long hair and he was quite and shy but when we talked it was like magic, but then Porsha Karens neice who is fifteen came out with all the other boys and he really likes her so left me and walked off with her and now I feel like crying ecause he did not even say by to me when he left, by the way he was 18 but he really did not ook that old or act that old I thought he was like 16 but ne way and then later that night I was underneath the balcony watching cars go by and Porsha dumps a bucket f water on me and I was all wet and after tat we had to go to dinner, I wassoooooo mad at her! I almost had to take off m sweatshirt to because Karen offered me a tee-shirt and I had to show her my scars in front of all the people there it would have soooo embarressed. Well um I am still delivering all my friends gifts on monday r tuesday and well I will deliver Sara, and Ronnies but i dont think tey want to even know me ne more and that makes me sad and well I no I ruined both of your christmases and I know that you both are excited to not have to see me........ so I wont ever have to bother you agin......it will be as though I was never there and I bet you will be happy! No I wont comitt suiceid, not now, but I will not even bother talking to you guys until.....I dont know.......but well I dont think you guys love mene more and dont get a all pissed beause I know you really dont really care and I dont want you to, I have other people I can talk to so youguys can go on with your lives without me. That does not go for you siearra, i have nothing againsst you, because you cared and you were not mad! I love you....and oh sara and Ronnie if i am not at school on monday, maye it is because i ran away...but if i am theere dont even give me the bitchy snott face i hate you look because if I was gone i know you would not even care and that makes me sad.......well i gotta go be i am crying all over the keyboard and my grandma is walking up the stairs!

um well ya........uhhh.......bye.
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