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| SadSongsNMyHead87 (profile) wrote, on 12-29-2003 at 8:30am | |
| Current mood: angry with a hint of sadness and a sprinkle of |
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| Okay...so I get an email from a trusted friend...and you know what the email had in it...a conversation concerning my fanfiction! Okay, I shouldn't be all upset and stuff, but for some reason, I AM! I mean, the story she said was "retarded" wasnt supposed to be my best anyway, but then why the heck do I feel so--bad. *cries* Of course, I should stop being such a baby about it, because everyone gets criticism at some point, right?! Oh wait, that wasn't constructive though. IF THAT PERSON HAD ANY RELAVENT REASONS WHY THE STORY WAS "RETARDED" MAYBE I'LL FEEL BETTER. UGH, BUT NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT IS OUTTA THE QUESTION. Of course, I can make some nasty comments on it myself. I already have. But still, I could be "one of the worst FanFiction.net writers" supposedly, and it was only based off that one fic out of 10, I think. I don't know, but I really don't feel like writing now. I should quit writing. Now I know how my friend felt when she got slammed for something she was good at. And this whole vacation isnt helping much either. I've been cooped up in my room the whole break so far, and you know what? I'm tired of it, but I can't do anything about it. Why, you ask? Because I have no social life to keep me going. Sometimes, I just want to curl up and die. It's not like anyone is going to notice anyway. I feel like life's reject. Of course, you dont know half of it. A few days ago, I drew a picture. Up until that day, drawing was one of my highlights. I drew better than i could write, play music, whatever. Anyway, I had it lying around and my sister's friends saw it. And they started making fun of it. I get discouraged so easily. I feel weak. This is the same with my piano-playing. I know I got into All-County because I was the only one who tried out on piano, and because my band teacher was one of the judges. *sighs* I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I AM GOOD AT NOTHING, AND WILL NEVER EVER SUCCEED IN ANYTHING! Someone squash me. Because, i dun think i should even be alive. Of course, who am i to complain to. No one. A low life. I should've quit while I was ahead. Then, I wouldn't feel as bad as I do right now. What a way to start the new year. The new year is supposed to be--a new year. Everything starts over-a fresh new start-a brand new page in a brand new notebook. But, for me, the way I see it, it's going to be one long nightmare. I am so hesitant about everything I do now. My rebellious-ness seemed to have lost it's effect. I've been bashed at everything I do. I used to never care about what anyone thought of me or what I did. But now, it's changed. I'm sure everyone I know have been holding back their share of comments, too. Everyone has comments. It just depends upon whether they choose to share it or not. I'm actually kinda glad that person stepped forward and said something. Now I know the truth about my writing, and how much it sux. Maybe I'll make next year, 2004, my last year of writing fanfiction, and stick with my original works, and even then, maybe I'll stop writing those too. *wipes tear* It's sad how it's come down to this. I dun feel too good about m'self right now. I think I've said enough. I want to thank Nira for posting this for me. This one was a must-post. I needed to rid my mind of some of these thoughts *sighs* I leave with my top FIVE extreme moments of 2003. DF103’s Extreme Five of 2003 5) Making a shirt with ‘I’m a MUTE’ on it, and refusing to talk, regardless of who asks me a question. 4) Walking around the hallways, talking to my imaginary posse (when a person rushes past me, I yell, “You stepped on my friend!” and start chasing the person). 3) Changing my hair color to the colors of the opposing high school football team on game day at the end of homecoming week. 2) Peering into my locker and pretending I’m having a conversation with something inside (and closing the locker, each time someone tries to get a glimpse of who/what I’m talking to, saying “Do you mind?”). 1) Running around school with a pair of boxers on my head. This is Kusho, over and out. <> Why am I dying to live if I am living to die? <> |
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fuzzball203 | 12-29-03 8:35am hey...I did it...tell me if it looks funny...sorry... |
dragon-bearer | 01-24-04 6:08pm You write fan fics? Who for?
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fuzzball203 | 02-18-04 11:34pm it's 2004...and it's been awhile...I never really noticed that you were like Martin of Candide...such pessimisticsm...(pretend it's a word)...don't worry....you're perfect...you draw better than anyone I've ever seen...you're writing is outstanding and everyone loves it (there's always some nimrods out there) and the music is wonderful. You've got a good lot of natural abilities and your music is one of your strong ones (how many people have taught themselves how to play) not many...I assure you...you're the most talented person I know...just as Da Vinci...see ya.
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