| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| desiredrelease (profile) wrote, on 12-30-2003 at 5:18pm | |
| Current mood: exhausted Music: something corporate, airports Subject: on this coldest of January nights, we drive out past the runway and watch the planes go flying by, the runway lights are the deepest blue like the colors of your eyes so close them tight and kiss me.. |
|
| yesterday, taken from charles dickens, was the best of times, yet the worst of times jordyn had spent the night and the day began with a hour and a half road trip up to brandon, florida to cruise around the brandon town center, that was the superb part of the day, come to think of it, the day was full of bliss until dusk, when the regreting sun hid behind the trembling trees, when night began to captivate this land did it become the worst of times only on blue moons does sami venture online, and the previous day just so happened to be the night where the indigo tint radiates throughout the shadows defining the darkness of night, inevitably, we exchanged pleasent greetings, nothing to sentimental, but to understand this, you must first off know that sami and i were best friends last year, unseperatable, but since then i seem to have been modified dramatically.. we risked the thought of attending different high schools, suggesting we would still be in contact through the studio, but it didnt conclude as such, she latched onto the people from her new school and i fastened onto other that i would later call my best friends, hence that takes us to yesterday, in which she invited me to a new years gathering but i declined, declaring i would have loved to go, but i have family over, she dismissed this excuse and rather construed it as i was "ditching her", as constructed by her mind following are some excepts from our conversation, no means in hurting anyone that could be offended by this in return :/ abrcrmbiet EASE: dont say that :/ CSNJDO: i feel ditched abrcrmbiet EASE: you know that isn’t true Sami abrcrmbiet EASE: don’t feel ditched, I miss you an unspeakable amount! abrcrmbiet EASE: im sorry you have to feel that way CSNJDO: yeah and hailey i know you dont see it but your dif now and i don’t like it abrcrmbiet EASE: wish i could know how so CSNJDO: i feel like i don’t know u very well n e more CSNJDO: & i hate it abrcrmbiet EASE: what changed? CSNJDO: just the way you communicate with me and your behavior abrcrmbiet EASE: you dont seem to bother with me ne more.. you are with all the people who attend your school CSNJDO: i dont ever talk to ne one at cypress abrcrmbiet EASE: at the studio abrcrmbiet EASE: with kasey and maria n carla n leah abrcrmbiet EASE: i kinda got pushed away, not that im complaining CSNJDO: YOURR THE ONE DITCHING US TO GO WITH THEM abrcrmbiet EASE: im not ditching anyone sami, i would much rather have it be as it was last year CSNJDO: no u never get pushed away u just are 2 busy being suffocated to talk 2 me abrcrmbiet EASE: but i have changed a lot since last year abrcrmbiet EASE: i have realized that abrcrmbiet EASE: i didnt realize until now how it affected our relationship now abrcrmbiet EASE: maybe it was right CSNJDO: it makes me feel like im not wanted i wrote this thing the other night when i was thinking bout it abrcrmbiet EASE: why do you feel that way?? CSNJDO: idk but i wrote something and was really sad and went to sleep crying abrcrmbiet EASE: you have me in tears now CSNJDO: i was really really upset and i just sat there for a long time crying and thinking about how i can tell you CSNJDO: im not sure but i think maria feels kinda like i do but she wasnt as close so i dont think she could be nearly as hurt abrcrmbiet EASE: maria takes it out in the wrong way CSNJDO: yeah i just keep it inside abrcrmbiet EASE: as do i abrcrmbiet EASE: but tonight nick has to put up with it abrcrmbiet EASE: god this is terrible abrcrmbiet EASE: you have no idea even who nick is abrcrmbiet EASE: and here i am, telling him everything, we grew apart abrcrmbiet EASE: you here saddens me to no end CSNJDO: im sorry but i had to tell you it was killing me CSNJDO: it was awful abrcrmbiet EASE: killing me slowly CSNJDO: im sorry i just was really sad CSNJDO: and i feel so distant lately abrcrmbiet EASE: you have no idea.. CSNJDO: its so so awful !! abrcrmbiet EASE: dreadful abrcrmbiet EASE: this isnt how it is supposed to be abrcrmbiet EASE: what happened? abrcrmbiet EASE: what caused this? CSNJDO: idk but i miss u hailey can you come over new years day late afternoon and u can stay the night CSNJDO: we need to get together abrcrmbiet EASE: we do CSNJDO: we need to just be us again abrcrmbiet EASE: i pushed you away CSNJDO: r u ok ? abrcrmbiet EASE: and what do i have to show for it abrcrmbiet EASE: what did i get in return CSNJDO: hailey its ok it isnt that bad now we can start over abrcrmbiet EASE: i cant believe i would do this abrcrmbiet EASE: i have been told alot lately that i have changed abrcrmbiet EASE: so many ppl have told me and it goes on from there, but i dont want to cause anymore uprises from posting such a controversial conversation, and i am deeply sympathetic to those it has already made an impression on, but i dont want this to forfeiture what we already have :/ <3 always n after |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
| Anonymous | what happened?, 01-01-04 6:22am I feel the same way as Sami, Hailey, although, when she said that you & me weren't as close as you & her, I disagree totally. You & me were getting so close to each other, between all our inside jokes & the good ol' times. You have changed alot & I'm not so sure it's in a good way; you're hanging out w/ particular ppl that you barley even used to say a pure "hello" to. I'm just sick of all this b/s & it's really getting to me. I am hurt as much as Sami is; if not, worse. No matter what she says, or anyone for that matter, I do believe we HAD a strong friendship. I always wonder everyday what happened to the Hailey I used to know. You have now turned into some stranger who frequently keeps calling me a "pansy" & makes fun of me & talks behind my back & it's hurtful. I never thought I would lose a friend like you, ever. I mean your behavior's changed, your attitude's changed, the music you listen to has changed, you've changed; it's like I don't even know who you are anymore. You & me used to do a whole lot together but now you always hang out w/ a particular someone. I just feel like I've been replaced by someone else. Well, leaving w/ a thought to ponder on, I am off...
|
desiredrelease | Re: what happened?, 01-01-04 6:02pm why did this come up all of a sudden? i was never all that close to you and im really not quite sure why all this is occuring...
|