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| m&ms487 (profile) wrote, on 11-21-2002 at 7:16pm | |
| Well, today. First of all to start out with I have a cold. Second, um yeah. Third, that's never a good combo. I forgot my biology book in 1st hour, so I had to go down the hall, up the stairs, down another hall, to my locker, get my book and back to band b/f school started, a trip that takes 10 minutes, I achieved through pushing in crowded hallways in about 4 minutes. That was just the start. I was almost late for band, so I had to share a music stand with Dani, which I don't care, it just bugs me b/c she plays the top part when she should be playing bottom. I would play top, but that's not my place, nor hers. Then, I had biology and everything went fairly well, so I made my way to the locker room for gym. I discovered my clothes were not in my bag. I then went to talk to Mr. Carr to see if my mom had called in (b/c I'm sick and i can't breathe when he makes us run) and he told me I still had to get dressed, so I asked him if I could get my clothes in my locker upstairs, and he said yes (I thought that is where I had left my clothes). So, I make my way down the hallway, and I just start balling my eyes out. God, what a perfect time. So I go look and my p.e. clothes are no where to be found which makes me cry harder. So I go back to the gym, tell Carr that I can't find my clothes and I don't know why I am crying but I can't stop. Thankfully Carr is actually human contrary to my former belief and he said that he wouldn't give me a 'no dress' (it lowers our grade, 1 no dress is A to a B) and he lets me go into the locker room. So I sit in the locker room alone balling my eyes out for no apparent reason for at least 20 minutes. Then Ms. Scott walks in, asks me if I'm okay and stuff, and I struggle to answer, and start crying harder. I must have used up at least 40 kleenex by then. Oh boy. Then class is over and the girls come in the locker room and the last thing I want is for people to ask if I'm okay, because that just seems to make me cry harder. So I just nod at their concerned faces, dry my tears and walk out of the locker room looking like shit. Not that i cared. So, I couldn't deal with eating lunch with my normal group b/c, i don't know, they are sorta preppy and I really can't deal with them sometimes, so I sit w/ jejuan for lunch. No questions asked. I liked that. Through the rest of the day I'm quiet, but luckily i didn't break down crying again. I don't know what caused it, maybe everything, maybe nothing, but the one thing I do know is that it felt good. No that it was at a good time or place, but luckily people understand. I haven't cried that hard or long since Aaron died. That was a long time ago. I thought about him in the locker room. I miss him. He was fun to be around. I thought about a lot of things in that locker room. Things that have no answer that I desperately need and seek. I think this is why people attach themselves to religion, so they can cope with things. As for me, I have to figure out some way to do it on my own, because that is the only person I will ever have, or need. I don't feel much like socializing. I just want to be by myself for a while. Think about things, I guess. I've gotten too connected to too many people. It doesn't feel right to me. I'm not use to it. I'm sorry. |
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Laurel | oooo, 11-21-02 7:59pm wow, i hope your okay, and youll be okay
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Fuck | 11-21-02 8:34pm Crying, who cries? The last time I cried was...when I was 7 and that's because my cat died. :'( |
beckaboo | hey..., 11-23-02 1:16pm Your right... it is why we have religion. But its not just having one that helps us cope. Its God that does. I dont want to sound like a preacher, but why would we believe in something that isnt real? |
| m&ms487 | Why would we believe in something that isn't real?, 11-23-02 7:04pm Becky, people use to firmly believe that the world was flat. I think Columbus proved them wrong. People believe in the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus (although the was a St. Nicholas, but he didn't have reindeer). So, people believe in things that aren't real all the time. It's comforting to the to hide the truth. It's simply human nature. |
| beckaboo | Re: Why would we believe in something that isn't real?, 11-25-02 7:00pm People are idiots! Its a fact! There's actual proof that christianity is based on fact, though. There's actually a Noah's ark, they've found the garden of Eden, and ect. There is TONS and TONS of proof. Scientists all over believe in christianity. Do you think I would just pick a religeon without looking into it? It was just like one day out of the blue I decided to pick up a bible. I was a major skeptic, too. Believe me. And dude, we're talkin kids under 5 believin in stuff like the easter bunny. You know, the same ones that think there's that big green monster in thier closet and a pink one to match under the bed? We're not hiding the truth. I dont hide the truth. I've learned my lesson with that a long time ago. And dont tell me to look into athanism or whatnot because I already have. And this is what I've chosen and sincerely believe its real because, heck, its really the only one that seemed logical, it has ALOT of proven truth. Scientists didnt look into the 'flat world'. They just assumed. Maybe you should stop assuming and start believing. Thats true comfort.
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| m&ms487 | Re: Re: Why would we believe in something that isn't real?, 11-25-02 7:25pm Becky, I was just defending my beliefs because I don't like when people criticize them. Freedom of Speech, ya know? Well, you don't have to agree w/ me. See, I don't believe in a certain "god" like the catholic god, the jewish god, the buddist god, whatever. I believe that there is some greater power. I believe this b/c almost every religion in the world is based upon basically the same thing, that there is a greater power, or many, and I can't deny millions of people and thousands of years of beliefs. I just don't believe exactly as you do, and I don't practice my beliefs the same as you do. And as for me, I don't believe in something until I have a good clue to what it is, yeah, yeah, that may be a bad thing for me, the thing that won't get me into heaven, but you know what? There are just as many claims of life after death, of reincarnation, claims of 'nothing', as there are of heaven and hell, and I refuse to believe something just because the major groups of the world do, because, things that aren't true do spread into assumed truth. |
| beckaboo | 11-27-02 8:43pm Hey! I so wasnt trying to dis on you... I thought you were trying to dis on me... wow. Okay, that was weird. Anyways, I see what your saying, I dont have anything against you believing something different than me. If I had something against everyone who believed different than me, hell, I'd be against my own mother. Plus, I think people that are so wound up in thier religeon that they ONLY do things that have to deal with that religeon and ONLY with the people that believe it are really close-minded and pretty much boring as hell. I had a fun time last nite... lol. Bowling was fun. Poor Racheal. I hope she can walk by Monday! ;)
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