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| sendmemoney (profile) wrote, on 4-1-2002 at 10:38pm | |
| Current mood: crappy Music: ozma - korobeiniki |
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| *~i am missing everything about you. i wish there was something i could do to get you back … even if we were never really together. maybe all i need is closure. something to let me know that, even if you stopped caring, you did at one point. that i wasn’t some cheap infatuation to you, like to anybody else who has ever looked twice at me. more often than not, however, those looks are filled with disdain … resembling yours now. the scornful looks you send my way, thinking i did not notice, burn holes in my heart. was what i did so wrong ? i thought we talked, and it was okay. i don’t know whether i would rather have you continue to live your life, taking cautious steps to avoid me, or confront you about what is going on and have whatever words you have to say to me set my heart aflame and rid me of all that I have left. at this point it is not much, but i have learned to subsist on very little from others ... and nothing at all from you. but i don’t want to live my life this way. not when i know how much better you could make it. does that matter to you ? i know you’ll never read these words ... maybe that is why i can write them so freely. the last effort i made at writing something for you did not turn out as planned ... in fact, it drove you further and caused more heartbreak for the both of us. but just so you know, you were not the only one with a broken heart. not everything is always as it seems. maybe sometimes though, it is better that you remain oblivious to my emotions ... they would not bother you in the least, but to know that they do not affect you would affect me tremendously. so i will shut up, paste a smile on my face, and nobody will ever know the difference.~* | |
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eyesforwindows | 04-03-02 9:40pm i like the "paste a smile thing" maybe because i picture you literally glueing a paper smile on your face. so yea...rock on paper face. |
crazy4shady35 | 05-30-02 3:35pm I was bored, so I started reading through some of the stuff you've written, and this caught my attention. Its really good and I really like it... I never knew that you could write so well, keep it up, Susan you rock. =) |