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| skittlicious (profile) wrote, on 1-4-2004 at 2:23pm | |
| Music: linkin park // numb Subject: I want what I had, and what I had wasn't what I wanted. |
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| This weekend was an eye opener for me. I had too much thinking time on my hands is what I'll call it. I left Friday with Lauren, Dan, Heather, Brian, Matt, and other Brian for camping. It was fun, I loved it. I'm not so sure, how i felt about being there with the ones I was with, not cause I don't like them, or anything of that matter, I just felt so alone. All weekend, I had this pit in my stomach, of loneliness. We were on the beach on Saturday, it hit me hard. I had to walk away, and I cried and cried. A good cry can truly help sometimes. The other day, when someone asked me what was wrong, I said I don't know, I'm just kind of sad and alone, they told me it's called depression..I am not a depressed person, and that really bothered me to think I'm depressed? I don't know how I'm feeling right now, but I know for sure, I'm feeling regret, too much of it. Another thing that I thought about this weekend was Sunrise Cinema's and how much I want it back. How much I loved my work friends, and how good I had it there. But I fucked things up there with my boss, and I ruined my chances. Now, I'm screwed, and there isn't one thing I can do, to get it back. So I'm left here now, sad alone and regretful, and all want to do is talk, but the words won't come out. | |
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| Anonymous | its jessica, 01-05-04 1:25am hey darling... i haet to seem y mandy sad, so your not allwoed to be anymore... work will never be the same with out you, ill miss you so much at work... also i was thinking the otehr day.... we really need to play mroe, because with you not there anymroe thats gonna cut me and y ou time into pieces... i love you darling and jsut becasue your not an employee of sunrise anymroe, dosent mean anythings gonna change. u can still come by when jens manager and all fo us will still be your friends... I LOVE MANDY ELIZABETH DOWD!!!!! |