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| chuckitatthewall (profile) wrote, on 1-11-2004 at 8:58pm | |
| today was good up untill about an hour ago. my dumbass sister is a history major and shes had good grades all her life. i on the other hand have had b's and c's all my life. i dont think i've ever gotten higher than a b- in math. since my dad was also a history major and now a lawyer and my sister is following in his footsteps he favors her. so today i was supposed to be working on my outline for my research paper. i wanted to do it on the computer so i wouldnt have to transfer it on later. mary (my sister. i lied about the names in the previous journal entry with her in it) told me that i had to hand write it first. i asked her why and she said that if she were my teacher she would make me hand write it first. SO FUCKING WHAT???? SHES NOT MY FUCKING TEACHER SO I DONT HAVE TO DO IT THE WAY SHE WANTS! of course my dad agreed with her so i had to hand write it. the fucking bitch. i know that i make it sound like my life is so terrible and i should be thankfull that i'm not getting beaten and stuff but i really get pissed. the problem that i have with my family is that if i tell my mom anything it gets around to ever person who lives with us and her friends and even my dads clients. its so hard to trust anyone in my house. i suppose thats a big reason i come here to write cause even if someone tells everyone what i've written it wont get back to my family. its pretty sad that i tell a computer and people i dont know more about me than i tell my family. today i thought i was gonna make it all day without having the urge to cry. well this afternoon i discovered i was wrong. the reason is my sister. dont u think because she is gonna be 22 in a couple of weeks she should move out? i think she should....tomorrow would be a nice day to move. i think i try hard enough in school. i work hard and study when i have a test complete nearly all of my work on time or before the due date. the thing is no matter how hard i try my dad will never think its good enough! i might as well stop trying to please him and put that extra effort into something that will have benefits. the only way to please him is to be mary and he doesnt have 5 marys. he has 4 other individual girls who work hard and do the best they can. why cant he see that? maybe not all of our decisions have been the smartest but when we make them we r trying to do what we think is right. ITS CALLED A FUCKING MISTAKE! APPARENTLY HE DOESNT THINK THAT PEOPLE R MORTAL! god it pisses me off. i could name several mistakes he has made in his life but i dont. for some reason i dont understand he brings up all my mistakes. for example i'm going to tell u a story that always gets brought up to make me embarrased...little do they know i'm not embarrassed by it anymore. so when i was 8 years old i went to a birthday party sleepover thing in a hotel. well that night everyone who was there was having fun and doing stuff. at about midnight everyone had fallen asleep accept for me, stephanie, louise, and rebecca and maybe another person. so we were flipping through channels and we came across a porn movie. because we were 8 and curious we decided to watch it. in the movie there lesbian sex and other stuff i dont really want to get into. a few days later rebecca (i think) told her mom because she was crying because of what she saw and i suppose the guilt. so it got around to all the parents of kids that were there and my parents approached me about it. i told them that i watched it and i was sorry. i think i got grounded but i'm not exactly sure. now when they r trying to embarrass me they bring that story up and i'm sure that everyone in my extended family and my parents friends and strangers probably know what i did. so thats how low my family will get in trying to embarrass people. i mean that happened like 5 years ago. at some point they need to forget about it. done for now. bye |
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LoupGarou | 01-11-04 11:22pm That kind of sucks. It hurts, but I suppose that there isn't really much you can do about it. At least about your dad favoring people.
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