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| Iron-Cipher (profile) wrote, on 1-15-2004 at 11:33am | |
| Current mood: Firery Music: Revolution Subject: Confessions |
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Alright I must start out this entry by admitting that I have let my life go to hell lately. I've blown off some of my good friends, and I have been a jerk. I've been a fake lately. I've done one thing and said another. I preach the things that I had trouble with and just made myself a hypocritt. First let me say, I love you all and I am sorry to you all. Ben, Molly, Rachel, Jackie, Ray, Jess, everyone. I am sorry I have really been an @$$ lately. Well it's time that that all changes. Let me give you a little explanation of where I'm at. I have felt empty inside for some while now, I have put my bodie in the same room with my friends, but I left my heart at the door. Partailly because I've been stressed with my heart. Yes it has become aparent to everyone that I like somebody. You all already know who and if you don't we will leave you in suspense. But this Girl is awesome. I love her to death, the hard part is that she doesn't feel the same way. I have put some much time and energy into that fact, that I forgot to be a freind to her firstm a promise I made myself along time ago, a friend first anything else second. Well I still love this girl but me sitting her moping about it and acting like an idiot won't do anything about that. well I give it to God whatever happens there he is completely in control of, he knows more that I do. Besides I should be happy that she is even my friend. I'm lucky that any of you are my friends, I have been a jerk, and I must say that my friends have really made me who I am. Well it's time for all of us to get up of our butts and get to work. Let me ask you this, What are you doing in your life that means anything in the long run, a day, a year, a decade from now? How many of you have something that you complain about on a regualar basis, or that bugs you alot, it's time to stop the complaining or tolerance and change things up. I'm not going to sit here and let the day go by in a melodic repitition anymore, I'm going to make a difference, i don't know how you guy feel, but I'm not going down with the sounds of me crying or snoring, I'm going out with a explosion, and sounds of praise. I love you all, give me a way to prove |
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sherriffsteve | 01-15-04 1:13pm You are an awesome kid. You know that. And I know you know that. And I know that you are something special, you've changed me around in some ways that I didn't think were possible, but you did it, and I thank you. And I hope you find your peace. You of all people deserve it, and no matter what, I will be here for you even when the roads are bumpy. And stop worrying, God DOES have it ALL under control. peace. |
Shinigami | 01-15-04 2:05pm That is very correct sherriffsteve. Maybe it's not you so much that's being a jerk, but people like me. Uh, I think you understand what I'm trying to say without actually saying it, but yeah. I'm sorry. And I want to be your friend. |
Angel_Bob | 01-15-04 2:15pm I don't think you've been an ass, Nick. If you have, maybe I've just learned to shrug it off as some Ben/Nick thing.
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