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| SeraphimRhapsody (profile) wrote, on 1-18-2004 at 10:53pm | |
| Current mood: headachey Music: Swing, Swing -All American Rejects -Shelly's Mix Subject: Where can we find the Key of the Twilight? |
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| -.- I don't like to be lectured to. Maybe you could see that I've already been doing exactly what you're saying and I DEAL WITH MORE THAN YOU DID AT MY AGE!!! Good grief!! He tried to say that I dealt with normal teen things only: Does that boy like me? Do I fit it? How do I look? I nearly flipped out on him when he didn't believe I deal with things he will never have to deal with. He dropped out of college to join the army. Just compare school work and I top him. Is it odd... that I'll let some people just believe I'm listening to their advice and humoring them? I tell them what they want to hear to make them happy. But in my mind I am saying completely different things... like leave me alone, or that's a stupid thing, or something. I tried to humor this guy's advice.. but he made me mad. He told me to do what I'd been doing.. but didn't acknowledge that it was what I'd been doing. And the like. No, I haven't been reading your journals. I know... it's really odd. But.. I think I'm trying to take a break from people and problems and hassles since I have so much of my own. If you need me, or need to talk about something, still feel free to come to me about them! Makes me feel important or useful. But I don't think I'll go looking for them for a bit... until I can straighten some stuff out. It seems Kyo was online all friday. I think maybe I had been waiting for him to IM me... a sign of caring and concern and immediate waiting for me no? I guess he figured to give me space and wait for me to IM him if I needed him. But from the previous IM I'd think he'd know better... Analysis 3 from last post: Sometimes when I choose what I'm wearing in the morning, I go completely off how I'm feeling. It usually is what I feel like wearing at that moment.. but sometimes I wear what reflects inner feelings. That all black outfit... that was the inside. Whenever I wear/wore that one it was of the inside. I turned a lot of heads with that.. surprised people.. but I wasn't really trying to be Goth, as my sister tells me I looked nothing like that 'category'. And the outfit with the short cropped shirt and jean jacket... another inside of me. Turned a lot of heads with that one too.. especially in bad. Several sides to each outfit, don't assume anything. Shelly only lives 5 minutes from me!! That really does help me.. I have a massive headache... tylenol doesn't cut through it.. and certain people aren't helping.. I do agree with you Krystle.. I have a bad feeling about it too.. but I don't know enough about the situation to do anything as of yet.... Should I share this? The thought struck me... I dunno.. Alright sure, for those poor souls who have followed my dribble about Kai and Kyo without knowing anything about them.. this won't help ya! LOL Oo;; But still. TWilli: Hi again Kyo: 'Eve. TWilli: How was your day? Kyo: It was good except that I got smacked in the face and my braces cut my lip and it bled a lot. Kyo: Now there's a hole in my lip that my braces keep getting caught on and pulling. Kyo: I'm like Kyo: Ow. Kyo: lol TWilli: AWWW owie smacked? by whom? TWilli: and try some wax.. Kyo: I had to go home to eat and my friends didn't want me to go so they all dog piled on me. Kyo: And in the process I got smacked. Kyo: And wax is a good idea. Let me see if I can find mine. Kyo: ^^ Kyo: Yay! Kyo: I found it! Kyo: Haven't even used any of it yet. Kyo: Not since last January. Me: You're busy eh? Kyo: Busy? Me: yes you seem distracted away for long periods Kyo: That would be because my IMs don't flash. Me: oh Me: how has Kai been these last few days? Kyo: *Shrugs* Dunno. Me: The honest truth? Kyo: No, it's not. Kyo: She's been fine, as far as I can tell. Me: Don't lie to me Kyo. Kyo: I'm sorry... Me: No, you're not Kyo: I am sorry. I hate having to lie. Kyo: If I don't lie to you, I lie to Kai. Kyo: I'm always sorry, having to fucking lie all the time. Kyo: It's horrible... Kyo: And please pardon my language. Me: Then don't. Don't tell the truth either, if you've been sworn not too, just tell me 'you can't say' Me: Dont ever freaking lie to me though trust doesnt come easily from me Kyo: I'm sorry... Kyo: I really am. Me: All in all, I guess I'd rather that you lie to me and not Kai. I'd rather you kept with her side and away from me. I understand when she comes first so I guess I'd prefer it that way. Me: I only wanted to know if she was doing well..... because she did not send me the reply she promised me on friday. Kyo: Ugh... I really loathe being in the middle of this crap. I'm sorry. >< Me: Don't be. It's not fair for you to be in the middle. And I really try not to ask much about Kai from you.. but it gets harder. Kyo: I understand. I really do. Me: Can I ask something else (unrelated to Kai.. I think...) without you feeling worse than you might already feel? Kyo: Go for it. Me: What were you up to friday? Kyo: Friday... Kyo: Ummm... Kyo: Nothing? Me: Or was it thursday...? The day you promised you be back for me and free from exams Kyo: I went a concert on Thursday. Kyo: Last night I went to a party. Kyo: I was on all day on Friday. oO Me: oO Let me see Me: Alright whatever -Random unhappy end of convo- ~*~ qotd What do you make of the above convo? Is it just me who sees that I'm upset and want to talk? Want him to ask me if I'm okay? Distant and numb and once again taking responsibility of pain I really shouldn't have to? Or am I in the fault with stupid thinking and all? |
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DragonSpeaker | 01-19-04 1:21am I see that my musical taste has infiltrated your mind. Muahaha. Or maybe that happened before I liked AAR, but humor me.
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