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| goobs827 (profile) wrote, on 2-4-2004 at 4:14pm | |
| Current mood: stressed |
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| first day back was a little scary. i was really worried about everything, but it was okay and teachers and people were really nice. I have a lot of work to do...but I like to keep myself busy when I'm sad. I really can't wait for Feb. break. I wasn't so excited before, but now I am just totally fantasizing about it and cannot wait. It feels surreal. Every once in a while when I'm thinking about my plans for the weekend and such, I get like a whip of "oh i have to go visit grandpa on friday," subconsciously in the back of my mind, so for a split second i feel like I have to plan around that. And it's really starting to scare me. And the more I think about how lucky we are that he's not in pain, I think of how amazingly unfair it is. He was so young...he had at least 25 years to go. He was so full of life and had so many hobbies...yet he had to think about his death and prepare for it for so long, and it was so sickeningly unfair. But it's all in the hands of God...and I really don't have a fear of death...people think im insane but then there's heaven. But I really appreciate the fact that it doesn't scare me. But sometimes you just feel cheated. Sucess: "To laugh often and much: to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children: to earn the appreciation of honest ciritics and endure the betrayal of false friends: to appreciate beauty: to find the best in others: to leave the world a bit better...To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson (this was the quote on the back of my Grandpa's card for the wake/funeral) I hope that I can be as lucky as him and succeed too. ahhh oliver got groomed and smells so lovely mmm... <3Big Kiss |
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crazyhils44 | 02-04-04 8:22pm gabs im so sorry---i know we havent really talked in a while but i completely can relate to what you're feeling---losing my grandpa was one of the hardest things to deal wiht in my life so far----i know how difficult it is--im still not over it--seriously if u ever wanna talk im here---i want us to stay close more than anything i miss you so much gabi--hope you're doing ok tell ur family how sorry i am--love you
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goobs827 | Re:, 02-05-04 4:49pm thanks hil--i remember when you lost your grandpa and how sad you were--i couldnt relate at all but now i can and i'd definitly love that chat one of these days! miss you too, and thanks a lot tty soon (if we ever see each other again lol) love |