| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| spinoangel (profile) wrote, on 12-17-2002 at 7:16pm | |
| Current mood: lonely Music: vanessa carlton - "pretty baby" Subject: sigh |
|
| today was an ok day. i got an A in bio for the nine weeks! now i just gotta get a C on all my exams... not too hard, but i still gotta study. lol. heather was tellin me bout this kid she likes from s.tech that rides her bus named joel. and i was like hey is he friends with ben [cuz a.j. said somethin bout ben always sittin wit a kid from s.tech] and she said yes and i was like lol! ben and joel... like benji and joel from gc. hehe. i'm feeling lonely. i feel like some people [especiall guys] don't wanna talk to me. hmmm. i dunno. ok. i tried three times. i have realized that i just cant stop liking him like that. it's gotta be natural ya know? just like falling for him in the first place. today is like one of those days. those days of wanting to be in somebody's arms, those days of wanting to feel loved. i am loved, but not like how i want to be. i know it seems a little selfish, but it's true. i just kept looking at him today and the feelings were like blowing me away cuz i want to be with him so bad. why? i have no idea. he DOES have faults. he IS a loser/jackass/dumbass sometimes. it's just... when you like someone... you can't explain why. it's just that feeling you get. that feeling is what you want to be like all the time and only that one person can make you feel that way. greta says you can tell in my eyes that i want him so bad. its not like when i look at him, i think or say "OMG! THERE HE IS, HE'S SOOOO FINE" like my other friends [altho theres nothing wrong with that]. when i look at him, when i get to really look at him, my mind is thinking h/o devon called... second time today... anyways when i look at him, i think of all the happiness he could bring me and that if i wait for him long enough and i'm patient then i'll be able to be with him and be able to experience that. i dunno how i like him or why. but i just know i do and i cant stop it. even though it hurts to like him and not have him, it hurts just as much to try to not like him when in actuality... i do. but thanx to everyone who loves me and think i deserve better. i love that ppl try to help me get over him, but it's almost impossible [...almost]. "pretty baby don't you leave me I have been saving smiles for you pretty baby why can't you see you're the one that I belong to I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm for you're the sun that breaks the storm I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound as long as you keep comin' around, pretty baby and I know things can't last forever but there are lessons that you'll never learn just the scent of you it makes me hurt so how's it you that makes me better can you hold me and never let go when you touch me it is me that you own pretty baby the place that you hold in my heart would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby" |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
kickass1157 | 12-17-02 8:54pm ahh! vanessa carlton! pobrecita (my new saying). i wish i could help you out some how. :0( yikes. i wish i wish i wish. i'm falling for my ex-boyfriend . *sigh* why can't love stop torturing me so? ah. lol. at least u get phone calls christina. <3 |