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| silentcriez (profile) wrote, on 2-12-2004 at 3:10pm | |
| Current mood: cant stop these tears... Music: everything - b2k Subject: wow.. what a load of bullshit |
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Dear Amanda my love and thoughts of you are with you each and everyday of your life! i may not be there "physicall" but youre in my heart and your voice is on my lips always. i believe that someday you will find a way to forgive me and to move forward withour love as mother and very precious daughter. love, Mom ------------------------------------------- what a fucking load of shit.. why does she bother with stupid cards on meaningless holidays? and ehr gifts? does she think that will rectify everything she has done to me? what a fucking dumbass. as if everything will be fine.. she doesnt even see that what she did was wrong. and expects me to forgive her. how the hell can i? i never will.. im sure when the wounds have healed i may eventually talk to her.. not now and never will i forgive her. forgive her for walking out on me when i needed her most. leaving me with my dad.. with kaitlin leaving me next year i wont be able to survive. i cant take it. i cant talk to anyone and anything i see that reminds me of her makes me cry uncontrolably..she doesnt know me.. she will never know me at all. becuz i am a totally different person abusing drugs to numb my sorrow. trying to find some escape from the pain hoping that someday shell come back... but she wont.. shes never coming back and i cant handle that thought. i just like to put it in the back of my head and not think a bout her. becuz to me its still not real it still hasnt completely hit me. that shes really gone... which is also why i would never be able to visit her in florida becuz seeing that... seeing her life... seeing that shes happy there... happy living without me... happy giving up everything she had here.. ebczu she didnt have enuff love for me to stay... becuz she felt the need to leave me for someone who couldnt give a damn about me. i will never speak to that coward of a man. who can tear a mother away from their kids liek that.. showing no regard for how i feel. it takes a selfish woman like herself to leave her children at the hardest points in their life. me my first year of highschool.. going through depression.. my sister leaving for college...how the hell am i sposed to do this.. i cant do it anymore.. i just wish i could shrivle up and die...and not have to deal with all this shit |
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| Anonymous | from kaqit, 03-07-04 12:54am mannyt i lov e you!! nno matyter what stuff our famil;y goes though, we will always have eachother!!! i .lover you fovere and ever! |