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| melikepeas (profile) wrote, on 2-29-2004 at 7:47pm | |
| Current mood: I need a wee Music: APC - judith Subject: The kind of weekend gay lil emo kids write poetry about |
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| I told martin that i just wanted to be friends, he seemed ok with it, well he said it was fine but then he stood and watched me all night and got angry when i was dancing with john. (Heh cass isnt angry with me anymore, she said it was the way we were dancing and the fact she was already angry with him, and she gave me a big hug and bought me a drink ^_^. ) Yeah anyways, martin got all upset because apparently i snogged john (maybe i did but i dont really remember i managed to get pissed on 2 quid). He asked lucy if john was mike, lucy said yes the daft nugget in a drunken state,she heard him wrong apaerently, so he got even more angsty. He didnt say anything though, he just sent me an upset/angry text after he'd left. Acording to his blokey mate he really liked me. I feel like such a bitch now. Hes soooo lovely i really didnt mean to make him feel bad. Grrr. Im such a divvy, theres a sweet as fuck, rich, nice looking bloke with a car after me and i dont like him cause hes 'too nice'. Seriously, theres something wrong with me. Yeah and anyway, i ended up back at frogs (aahhw lucy and frog ^_^ nyaahhhw, lucy likes frog quite a bit and i get the impression that he likes lucy too ahhhw) it was coool walking back in the snow, it was pretty, i walked with frog and talked about something that didnt make sense or want really all that important cause i cant remember. It was really nice, me and damian just lied in bed and talked and huged (and shagged but who didnt see that coming really?). I ended up crying everytime the goo goo dolls - iris came on the radio. Fuck knows why i think it was the lyrics And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life 'Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight Bastard song! But anyway appart from the song it was amazing to go to sleep in his arms, even they are all sooty and scabby hehe. I slept blodey well as well, i think its damian smell. I just realised, i still sleep in his jumper. He asked me to come back, i dont know, he says he needs me, but what about when he doesnt need me anymore and he has everything sorted, i dont think he'll still want me. I dont want to get hurt again, thats all it comes down too. Everything ive ever felt for damian has been so intense, mind you thats me when im in love (heh typical scorpio damnit), i cant just love some one a little i have to love them sooo damn much or not at all, and i cant be a little bit angry with some one i have to be outraged, and i cant be just a little bit upset i have to be hurt. Im such a pie tard. Thats why i cant say yes to mike either, hes moving in the summer and if we got into it i could see myself feeling somethign serious for him, i couldnt say bye with out being hurt. I should become a big dirty dyke i really should. Ohh along the line of boys, blokey from acklam with piercings was pretty much all over me on friday but aparently he as a girly wench. He came over to the table i was sat at with skinner and lindsey and cass and steve (hes back but its ok cause he looked after me and wasnt annoying) and nick, asked my name and said 'hope you dont mind but youre fucking gorgeous' heh. Least he was forward, i hate being dumb at boys. anyway later i was stood outside and he walked past and made a noise along the lines of 'mmmphwar', i said 'what?' and he just randomly grabbed me and hugged me and said really quietly 'im going to anoy you tonight cause im gonna be looking at you cause i think youre gorgeous' and give me a lil kiss. I told him it was perfectly fine. Heh. Bless. And he stuck to it too, every time I saw him he gave me a hug and a gradom grope 0.o. People arent supposed to do that if they have girly wench, tis only a 'might have a' girly wench but i still feel bad because of it. meh. tis all gravy. Twas cool that stacey was out, so was holly ^_^ Mams booking a cruise, it sounds sooooo amazing. Fly from gatwick to florida, and from there cruise around the caribian and mexico ^_^. HUUUGGGEEE ship, climbing wall, shopping mall, pool, ice rink, spa, gym everything. Means i have to shop for a cocktail dress though and posh frocks, the dinner is formal most nights. yey chance to pose. Will look like shit but nver mind. Im fucking sick of looking like shit. I never look good its fucking horrible. Ooh on a lighter note i got my tongue done it fucking wrecked but only for a bit when it went through the top of my tongue (they do it from the bottom up). It was so cute jam brude and brudes girly wench came in with me and jam hugged me from behind and brude and his girly wench (shes great i wish i could remember her name) held my hands. Tanya pierced me, she was good. Relaxing, not sure why people say shes better than jossy though, he was good too (even though he did cop a feel before he pierced it). Ahw well. Its strange, i keep forgetting its there and thinking 'oh my god theres something in my mouth' then its like 'oh yeah' and I feel dumb. I wasnt supposed to drink or kiss on friday but oh well, it hasnt done anyharm, it hasnt swelled up either, neither did my nipple. That healed really fast. I think i pierce well. I want my nose done but i have to wait till the wife gets hers done, were gonna have a bonding experiance. Been looking at clincal psychology, i could soooo do that for a serious job. Im not good enough though, i have the grades at gcse and will get them for a level easily if i get my predicted. But i dont think im good enough to get a phd, no way in hell. Ah well. Heh, damian said i was catlike. How many people have said that now, im not catlike at all. Cats are supposed to be all gracefull and agile not fat arsed. Woah a really long entry. I was doing good there too. |
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| Anonymous | 03-01-04 10:00am And I'd give up forever to touch you
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