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| mbenznut (profile) wrote, on 3-9-2004 at 12:36am | |
| Current mood: Troubled Music: MTV |
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| Does anyone else just constantly think about things, no matter how pointless they are? I always have to be doing something in my head. Very often, I notice I am talking to myself at work, and get quite a few weird looks from customers. I bring this up because all day today I have been thinking. My thoughts normally wander over so many things that it does not actually affect what I am doing. So today the thought has been my life. Where it’s going, where it has been, what I want it to become, whether or not it has the possibility of actually getting there, just general insecurities. Why are all these thoughts coming to me this year? Up until now, I have been secure being who I am, or realizing that I will someday be able to express that part of me. Jason made a comment the other day, “You are a good listener AND I love you. Deal with that, ya compliment-issue-having biatch. :-)” I found it interesting how much of an effect this has on me. I cannot help but laugh reading it. I once told someone, “I don’t think life will ever be permanently fun, you just have to be happy when it is, and learn to deal with it when it’s not.” I am finding it very hard to follow this advice myself, and I am second guessing the validity of the statement. No, life will never be permanently fun, but do we really have to live with the downs? I mean, can we just be content without having fun, or being down? I am just having trouble balancing all of the shit. I enjoyed spring break where I could go to work and come home. No other thoughts, worries, or shit. I am ready to be at a full time job, ready to drop out and move on, ready for the next phase in my life. |
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TaoMan1121 | 03-09-04 4:06pm Hmm... so many things to say. Umm, first of all, I'm sorry I skirted so fast when I saw you in the bathroom (wow, that sounds bad...), you didn't look so hot when you came in, but I didn't want to get into a deep philosophical discussion while you were holding your wee-wee. :-) Second of all, I am here if you need someone to talk to, I'm trying to hone up my listening skills again. And if I ever seen weirded out talking about big issues with you, it's just because when quiet guys like you and Smitty talk about your feelings, I'm not used to it because it rarely happens. But I'm always up for a deep, meaningful talk, so just saying I'm here. |