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Rachely (profile) wrote, on 3-13-2004 at 3:54am | |
My sister actually came home today... she packed up her stuff and left. I don't really care that she's leaving, I just hate what she's doing to my mom. I haven't seen my mom cry that much since her grandma died. She's pretty much been moved out for a while, but now it's all "official" 'cause she took her stuff. All it means to me is not sharing the bathroom anymore. It ended today =] It was the longest it had been in a long time, but I found somebody worth ending it for. And I had a wonderful afternoon/night. As for you... I'm done living a fake life to try to protect you. I dunno what your deal is, but it's not fair to me. I didn't ask to have you feel this way about me. I'm sorry I can't return those feelings, but I can't tell my heart how to feel. I'm sick of not being able to talk openly 'cause what I say might hurt you. I'm sick of being afraid to tell you my plans for the day. I'm sick of not being able to share why I'm happy. And when I do tell you, I'm sick of you getting all pouty. And don't say you're not, I can tell. When you immediately hafta leave and tell me you won't talk to me till the weekend is over, that's being pouty. You go ahead and be mad at me. What should I do, fake feelings for you to make you happy? Sometimes I think it would be best if we had never met, then there wouldn't have been a chance for all of this to happen, you wouldn't hafta go through this. And as for me "only thinking of myself," next time I'm driving in the dark, on wet slippery roads, in the thick fog, while trying to keep you on the phone the whole way to your house, I'll remember that that's how you think of me and I'll turn around and go home... I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore. I found something that makes me happy and I can't keep worrying about that breaking you... |
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