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| iron-cipher (profile) wrote, on 3-17-2004 at 12:01am | |
| First of all, I'm trying to recall who it is that I am actually talking to. But then I realize I don't know who you've become. It certainly isn't the same person who spent and hour on my front porch talking about how relationships are good but you can't base your entire life on one person. It certainly isn't the same person that stayed up after midnight on new-years eve to watch a geeky show on the discovery channel that wasn't even on that night. It certainy wasn't the person that laid in my arms crying when you thought the world hated you because of what happened between you and james. It certainly isn't the person who smiled and had a good time every weekend when we hung out. It also CERTAINLY isn't the person that cared... cared enough to call... cared enough to write... cared enough to smile... While it may be a two-way street what you didn't realize was that I didn't abandon you when me and Ben started to hang out, when me and Jess started dating, when the whole ray/rachel dillema occured, or even now to this day. But it was you who made everything about betrayal, forgot reconciliation, forsook friendship, and mainly yourself. Now it's ironic that I sit here today looking back at all the decisions made and the things said, and i wonder how it is that the love of two friends became so tainted and corrupted. I don't know if it's something I said or did or perhaps an action of yours that created an unforseen rift of vast proportions that has separated two hearts and minds. The purpose of this is not to place blame or start pointing fingers but to show you that no one puts you where you are, it was a consentual act of passionate ignorance that brings us to stand before the problems [of] which we've come to face. Basically Jackie, don't live a life of apathy, and don't hide behind your relationship with mat, and make your whole life about being safe and comfortable. You spend every waking moment that you can with mat, partly bacuase you like him, which I'm sure you do, but I know you also do it because you thinks it's a world in which you have complete control and you think that you can't hurt or be hurt by anyone and everything follows your plan. But I tell you the truth the likelihood of you and mat staying together is slim, at some point in your life you will be separated, when you've made your whole life about somebody else and going somewhere else instead of learning who God made you to be and why He put you where you are. Regardless of race or creed, I'm sure we can all agree that a God that can create a universe so vast knew what He was doing and didn't make any mistakes... You spent your whole life staring into a two-way mirror hoping for the glimpse of someone else's eyes. Love as always, Nick |
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Angel_Bob | 03-17-04 5:50pm Wow. That was well-written. I hope she takes time to listen.
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Harley | 03-19-04 1:20pm And I say "wow" as well. Very well thought out and put together. I commend you Nick.
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