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| justplainolemica (profile) wrote, on 3-17-2004 at 3:44pm | |
| Current mood: :-( Subject: Who knows |
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| So I'm now in this intermediate stage. I feel like shit because I hurt the boy that I love. Flat out I hate to hear him cry and know that its my fault. But I'm also kinda proud of myself. Kinda proud that I decided to do something for myself. I think that if I were to be uninvolved in the situation this wouldda been the obvious answer. But since I am involved this sucks. I really dont know what to say. I miss him, yes. Still love him, yes. I dont think that those are things that will go away... at least not right away. I hurt, yes... again I am just hoping that eventually that goes away. And I'm not ruling out being with him ever. I'm just hoping that this break up gives us enough time apart to grow as people. To stand on our own two feet and find out EXACTLY what we want from life and if what we want can really happen. Maybe all this time that I thought I wanted to be with John forever I was wrong. Or maybe I was right. I dont know, but I think that this break up will tell me or not. And it sucks so much. It really sucks so much. And from the sounds of it John doesnt want to be my friend. Which I can understand. I think it would be very hard to be friends with someone you love. And I dont think any less of him if he decides to not be around in my life. I respect that. But I guess I'm selfish. I want him in my life and I want to be able to talk to him. And I hope he gets a gf who can help him figure out what he wants and how to act. I hope that he has all the happiness in the world... he deserves it. And I hope that I am around to see it and be around it... I hope... |
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l-town-boi | 03-17-04 6:01pm i hurt........................But if you love something let it go , if it comes back its true love.
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